worst moment in D&D

[Ed Zachary]

Our group had about a dozen players with six regulars, and we alternated DMing.

Funny Moment #1: One guy newer to DMing set a campaign where our characters (N & E) were to rescue some royal, and we would get treasure for it. One character asked to see the treasure, and pulled a Contingency/teleport with all of it. I had never seen a look of surprise/shock on the face of a DM as I did that moment. The rest of us still demanded treasure to perform the rescue, but the king had nothing left. Unhappy about being summoned for nothing, we spent the rest of the gaming session trashing and looting the city.

Funny Moment #2: We were on a time sensitive mission, and the DM tempted us with a dragon's cave. While the dragon chased us, my priest sent an aerial servant to take some treasure from the dragon's lair. We ditched the dragon, and later on some treasure came magically floating to me. Greedy Steve went invisible, and we guessed that he wanted some loot too. After spending the next day without seeing Steve's character, a new character joined our group (run by Steve).

Funny Moment #3: Steve's character and mine were rivals (we always were), and his wizard/assassin planned to assassinate an ally of my wizard/assassin. I waited hidden in a bar where my ally hid out, and finally spotted invisible Steve. After Steve killed my ally, I magic missiled him before he could teleport out. His spell failed and he had to fight his way out. That led to a huge bounty being placed on his head, and he had to live in hiding. I was a hero. Steve was so pissed at that moment, you could see the smoke.

Funny Moment #4: Steve and I were also good friends. Our party had fought a battle against many giants. Steve and I killed our giants and escaped to protected ground. Dave, who's fighter had been greedy and cowardly was still fighting the remainders. When he was almost victorious, we started casting cure and protective spells on the giants. Dave's character survived, but he learned a lesson in getting caught not putting the group first.

[ShadowSystems]

One of my party tried something like that once.
The rest of the party is getting savagely mauled by a pack of large Cerberus (Cerberii?) and this Cleric decides to "wander off & smell the roses".
We're screaming for help, he's off getting high on nectar & talking to bees!
So we manage to *barely* excape with our lives, and bum-rush the Cleric.
Pick him up, haul him to the nearest wasp nest, and *cram him into it*.
Our Barbarian rips it down from the tree, gives it a mighty heave, and lobs it into a bear cave for good measure.
We met up with the Cleric a few days later, looking MUCH worse for wear & instead of his normal studded leather armor & knee-high leather boots, he's wearing what amounts to a *kilt* & sandals...
"Wow Carl, what happened to YOU, Man?"
Oh, ummm, nothing... ahhh... yeah, nothing.
"Well, sit down & have a beer with us. We're glad you're still alive!"
Ummm, I'll take the beer, but I can't sit down...
"Why not?"
Well, uhhh... let's just say it was the wrong time of year to be waking up a sleeping bear.
"Carl, are you trying to tell us you got violated by a grizzly?"
(Dead silence)
"BAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahhahahahahaa.... "

Moral of the story:
"Don't put yourself above the Party. Chances are the DM *WILL* decide to violate your butt one way or another!"
'Nuff said. =)P

[nijias03]

ah that was a great laugh reading all of those. I remember one time playing shadowrun with some friends. My friend David and I always tend to get into in game fights. This time, he had decided to play a female dwarf, and I was a human, we were both cops in the session and had to solve a crime. Well, I ended up bitten with a vampire, and later on so did his character. At the end of the game we had ended up inside a tent at a carnival full of vampires. We play it off then the next thing I know each of us are fighting vampires, he manages to stake his and it turns out the master vamps that had bitten each of us had turned us against each other. I died and as he runs out the tent the third character who's cover got blown by our stupidity snipes him.

sorry, forgot this was for D&D ah well, it's funny anyway

[vic_kidd]

For me, as the DM, it was the greatest moment. For the players, the worst.

So, we had a mixed group of goodie goodie PC's including a Paladin. They came up to a door and the Paladin detected evil. The actual door was so evil that the Paladin passed out and the non paladin players could also feel the evil. I gave them hint after hint In Game not to touch the door. While out of character I told them that it's not advised to touch or try and go through the door.

Well, what did the players do? They touched the door and everyone in the group turned Chaotic Evil, the Paladin turned into a Death Knight, and well, it was time to roll up characters.

The same group in my NWN game came up to a door. In front of the door there was a sign that read, "Do Not Enter, Plane of Fire". They all went through the door at level 4. They emerged in a room where another sign read, "Do Not Pass through Portal" with an Out of character notice, "Do not go in to this area unless you are above level 15".

Guess what, they all went in and subsequently died due to the ambient fire and heat attacks of just being within the plane of fire.

Duh

The moral of the story, "When the DM says don't do something, Don't do it."

That is like such a loaded thing to do....lmao. That is like a button that says Doomsday and putting a sign that says do not push. What is the first thing they do?? It is human nature to do so.

[vic_kidd]

I played with the same people for about 20 years......one DM (we had like 4 or 5 people that DM'd) decided that he would use the Zhentarium as a recurring plot.....one of the things that he had them doing was hijacking ships to sell back to the owners....me being the Lawful kind of guy at the time (L-E) decided to help one poor captain out of a bad spot (for a price of course). The Captain paid the ransom but it wasn't returned to him.....so I went and paid it for him again....same thing.....to I toasted the guy and seized the ship....and that triggered a personal war with the Zhent's and I used my friends as a shield to protect myself as I needed. This war never did finish as the DM got tired of it as I tortured his encounters on a regular basis.

[Nok]

My last gaming group was about 8 players deep with about 6 regulars per session, alternating GMs. One of our players started a 12th level campaign, and we were excited about our first foray into Undermountain under this GM. After our descent into the well, we traveled a few hundred feet west, 3 rooms into the 1st level of Undermountain. Having been in Undermountain in several campaigns, I was surprised to find a perfectly round hole in this chamber usually populated by a couple of skeletons or zombies. My rogue/ninja of the crescent moon/dungeon delver was intrigued. what a wondrously smooth round hole! And so big! I decided to investigate where this "new" hole might lead. My "treasure sense" was going wild! After all I thought - I'm level 12, hell I could sprint back to the well and shimmy up the rope if it was real bad. This is where it went horribly wrong. I think the GM was really pissed at us since we had always destroyed his shoddy encounters in previous campaigns - in any case - the other 6 players follow me assuming i was following my treasure nose.... Only to find that less than 500 feet into the 1st level of Undermountain was a "Beholder Hive". Upon my first view of the 30 odd beholders milling about tunneling away with their disintegration rays, I piped up,"Matt, Out of Character Comment: Why would Halaster allow a force of 30 odd beholders to mill about on the first level of his domain? And I didn't think that beholders were very sociable with each other either. Are you sure this encounter is in the book you've got over there? it seems a little overpowered." The other players were very nervous as well - we had spent a lot of time building 12th level characters - the sheets didn't even have any eraser marks on them yet. Matt's response :"start rolling your saves." We got creative and put up a heck of a fight, abusing his silly use of a linear tunnel to force them to fight us one at a time while we tried to run. None of us made it to the rope in the well - but we did take out 15 and many players were forced to play thier "evil card" earlier than they would have liked - "sacrifices had to be made" and "its you or me, buddy",and "I hamstringed the sorcerer when he wasn't looking, that should buy us a couple of rounds" were all uttered in short order. After it played out, several players politely suggested a "reset" on that campaign, if he ever intended to have a character last more than 1 game session in any of our campaigns. He grudgingly agreed.

[PhishStyx]

The worst was very last D&D game I played and in fact part of the reason I stopped playing D&D entirely.

It was Living Greyhawk at a convention 3 years ago, I was part of a party of nine others, all armed and armored in some form or another. We were walking down the road on our way to do a job that the DM had railroaded us into and the DM rolled on his idiot chart (aka random encounter table). So out of nowhere pop up 3 wolves (yup, a trio of them), and they proceed to charge our group of nine people.

I say, "uhm excuse me, wolves are pack hunters. They won't attack a group so much larger than their own. On top of that, we're taller and armored, thus clanging and such. A huge noisy group is going to be avoided by wolves."

The DM points to me and mumbles apparently with gravel in his mouth, "the lead wolf attacks your ranger."

Me, "Uh-hunh."
.
.
.
Three hours later the DM reveals that the thieving villain we walked four hours to catch turns out to be a displacer goblin (literally, a goblin with displacer beast powers) that is completely impossible for our 1st level characters to hit. We eventually got tired of the stupidness and stuffed his cave full of branches and lit fire to it.

Thus, the last D&D game I ever played was a complete and utter waste of time.

[dark77778]

My friend's bard went on a critical miscasting spree [purposely] in town. It was our first D&D session ever and it was sorta going somewhere neat until she blew the hell out of the town by miscasting. We were only Lvl 5 so we couldn't do shit to stop her, except I tried an ensnare spell, which stopped her for a moment, but ended up making things worse in the long run.

[ghost_runner]

Ahhh Memories. My very first time playing DnD. I chose a ranger, I liked the idea of the elvin ranger. The woodsman, the survivalist, hunter, provider of food and directions through the forest. Like Robin Hood meets Grizzly Adams. We enter my first dungeon. We had just rolled my first character. I am very detail orientated. I put down every little piece of equipment, studied every table, knew exactly how much weight I could carry (ok, so I'm a bit anal). We kill a group of goblin. Not hard, they fell pretty easy. I notice nobody else had food. SOOOOooooo I decide to cook goblin for supper. The DM informs us that the overwhelming stink completly incap's most of us. Our dwarf makes his save, and opens the door, letting the stink out and fresh air in. However, the smell of burning goblin attracts EVERY damn goblin in his dungon, and the party, still incap'ed from the "supper" fell victim to the horde of little green men.... "So, anyone want pizza?" was my only logical question to ask next.

[Ed Zachary]

In reading about some of the higher level characters on another thread, a humorous moment came to mind. The 'regulars', about six of us, were running characters of about 15th to 17th levels against a Demon's citadel.

A new player showed up with his 21st level Mage, and sort of mocked us for our lower levels, lower stats, and less powerful magic items. Let's call him 'Sam', for convenience. Anyway the DM allowed Sam to join our group. Before we left, we stopped to pick up some supplies and take care of some other business in town.

While we were at a magic shop, we heard a rumor that another shop had an artifact for sale. Despite our objections and warnings, Sam had to go and purchase/obtain that artifact. Sam arrived at the shop, was hit by an anti-magic cone, and pummeled by six fighters.

We found him an hour later, unconscious and naked in an alleyway. His spellbooks, gold and items were gone, and he was feebleminded. Sam protested, complaining that the DM had set an unfair trap for him, and that he wanted his stuff back. He went back to the shop (naked and w/o spells), and was beaten up again. We had all seen through the trap, suffered by falling for traps like it in the past, and even warned him. Sam was an example of someone who was not a team player, and had achieved high levels probably without challenge from his DM.

I ran into Sam a few months later. He said that his character had reached 35th level, and was a local god. I asked him if he wanted to rejoin our game and get his stuff back, but he declined.

[justablacksmith]

My DM was nicknamed "Evil".. AD&D 2ND ED. Our party consisted of 3 elves, 2 humans and 2 dwarves.. I played a human war cleric.. the other human was reading the map and led us strait into a place called "Orc Town".. You can probably see his character's death coming.. We didn't realize where he was leading us till it was too late to turn back.. when we snatched the map from his hands there was at least 3 daggers in his gut when we saw "Orc Town" clearly marked on the map.. 1 of the orcs took off and I thought he was going for help so I tried to stop him.. He was going for help alright.. From the orc assassin guild of this town.. (when were orcs skilled assassins?)I ran right into the meeting of the guild.. "Evil" decides to use the critical hits and fumbles chart all of a sudden.. I'm glad he didn't bring his screen that day.. I never seen so many fumble- hit friend, rolls in my life.. they all disemboweled themselves in front of me and the DM decides that I wasn't punished enough for chasing this snitch orc into a den of death and he decides that the assassins (silent killers that they are with poison) made such a racket that the whole town starts mobilizing its armed forces and town militia..
We start beating feet out of there.. as soon as we make it out of the town the dwarves are forced by the DM to stand and fight the whole army due to racial hatred of orcs.. I inform him of the light blindness (daylight) of them and he claims that they are not effected due to a town spell.. we proclaim we are out side the city and taunt the orcs out here if they want to fight us.. "Evil" informs us that the dwarves are going to go back into town to attack them on even ground.. Bad Game Night for us.. they had all the camping gear (they were the strongest and the wiz didnt have the strength to carry his spell books on him..) In short (no dwarf puns intended) it was a long day's night for us all..

[justablacksmith]

We gamed with "Evil" for 2 reasons.. We loved to role play and he was always willing to DM for us.. but some nights it was hard to stick with the situations.. case in point.. DND 3.5.. 3 of us got together to spot game at our local store.. we were joined by 2 noobs.. wait for it.. they chose a human-rogue and a human-cleric.. they needed our help making them.. 1 noob chose to follow my lead and took the undead combative cleric.. I chose to split between heal and undead combat to make certain we had undead combat covered and a small time healer for the wand usage.. we started of with the noobs able to chose gear equaling our lvl for balance.. I sudjested a weapon with ghost touch (being in tune with my DM for so many years) the noob decides not to listen and goes with a +2 lightburst 2h sword.. I refuse to change to noobs mind.. if he wants it that way, let it be so.. maybe he has an idea or 2.. wait for it..
We start traveling tward this hastily scrawled town on this third rate map from the merchant who wanted us to collect a few things for him.. including some night shade.. we make it to this town and it screams ghost town to me.. the rogue decides to wander off and not tell us about it.. I stay in the wagon for reasons the old guys can understand (the plan, come to me for healing, I go no where).. I engage the brake and hop out and chalk the wheels.. the noob asks why.. I tell him why and he seems baffeled at the concept.. The sun starts dropping and we cant find the night shade.. The sun goes down, the town starts stirring, and the moon light shows a patch of night shade at the town fountain sprouting up..
I tell the fighter types to go collect it and if there is trouble to run back here but get it fast.. the 1/2 orc complys quickly and the noob sends a note to the DM.. I then check my gear to see if anything is missing and i find my holy symbol is gone.. I climb back in the wagon and grab a few of the torches, some Holy water, and my carving knife (M.W. Holy symbol coming up..) I finish my holy sybol and then bless and consecrate it (I am quite resourcefull) and then the whole world goes strait to Hades down a greased pole.. 1 of the fighter types comes running back to the wagon shouting about undead.. He spooks the horses.. The wagon takes off (I thought the brake was on and it was chalked?.. Oh.. the noob..) I look at the noob and he says he didn't think it was wise to keep the wagon from moving forward twards the town.. I promptly inform him I cant drive the horses, I was busy trying to make sure I could heal the party by having my Holy symbol ready.. So both of us are in the wagon (him by the scruff of the neck if I had to) barreling down to the center of this really ghost town.. The horses split the yolk and went sepperate ways and the wagon crashed into the town fountain.. I dove under the seat for saftey and the noob jumped up for lesser impact or some such.. the wagon bucked up.. the noob went flying out of the wagon.. the horses were the first to get touched by the ghosts (3 of them, go figure).. I crawl out and stand up.. the noob produces his sword, (wait for it) and throws it at them.. I look at him with disappointment but I don't say a word.. I turn undead.. 1 of the ghosts run.. the ghosts look tward me as a threat and flock twards me..
I inform the noob that he needs to turn undead so we can get out of here.. I turn undead again.. 1 more decides to run (the max I can turn at a time appearantly) and the noob pulls his Holy symbol.. (wait for it)
And the noob throws his Holy symbol at the last ghost..
I (being a travel spec) DDoor out of there next round and the ghost turns on the noob.. The noob then starts balking at me for leaving him behind.. I ask why he didn't turn undead like I informed him as a wise course of action.. He states (I don't like it but) that I was just like his old man, always bossing him around (I thought he asked for my help with making his character the way he saw mine, with his own flair and twist, appearantly he should have done it hisself, or sat it out if he could) And the noob asked what I done with his buddy.. I informed him that I was not the DM.. He asked me why I was so set to improvise when the game went south if I wasn't the DM.. And where was his buddy.. "Evil" spoke up and said that he left the party and as is costom that when the party splits 1 side dies immediately.. I asked who took my old Holy symbol.. The other noob speaks up that he took it to protect himself from the forces of "Evil".. I inform him that if I could do that I would have done it 20 years ago and would have kept doing it because "Evil" has no remorse.. And "Evil" (not skipping a beat) informed me to make a save verses lvl drain.. (He said if I was still talking to the noob that I was within character hearing range and proceeded to take opprotunity attacks from the ghost that took down the noob..) As said.. hard to stick with the situations he sticks us with..

[Moritz]

A new player showed up with his 21st level Mage, and sort of mocked us for our lower levels, lower stats, and less powerful magic items. Let's call him 'Sam', for convenience. Anyway the DM allowed Sam to join our group. Before we left, we stopped to pick up some supplies and take care of some other business in town.

While we were at a magic shop, we heard a rumor that another shop had an artifact for sale. Despite our objections and warnings, Sam had to go and purchase/obtain that artifact. Sam arrived at the shop, was hit by an anti-magic cone, and pummeled by six fighters.

We found him an hour later, unconscious and naked in an alleyway. His spellbooks, gold and items were gone, and he was feebleminded. Sam protested, complaining that the DM had set an unfair trap for him, and that he wanted his stuff back. He went back to the shop (naked and w/o spells), and was beaten up again. We had all seen through the trap, suffered by falling for traps like it in the past, and even warned him. Sam was an example of someone who was not a team player, and had achieved high levels probably without challenge from his DM.

I ran into Sam a few months later. He said that his character had reached 35th level, and was a local god. I asked him if he wanted to rejoin our game and get his stuff back, but he declined.

OMG, I know "Sam"... Or rather, I know a player just like "Sam". I think there's one in every bunch. Just like them bad apples that keep showing up. I wish I would have noticed this post earlier, great read, thanks.

[dragonmamma]

ok..so my most stupid moment was actually one of blissfull ignorance...apparently you should never stick a wand of negation (?) into/on an orb of power(?)...the DM was laughing his butt off cause this apparently blows up the plane of existance we were on...He lovingly let the others roll to see if anyone could stop me in time but did not tell me why everyone had suddenly looked at me like I was crazy...we had a kender jester/bard in the group and his dex roll failed so bad that the DM said the kender ran at my character to stop me but tripped over his own feet and fell and bowled me over just inches away from me blowing up our world. Then the group took turns educating me on the value of talking to them BEFORE I tried anything like that again...Lesson learned..

[DeGemaskerdeWreker]

Well, i got a tale of death, not mine but still.

I was a lvl 8 barbarian 4 INT, and my partner was a little rogue with a really bad CON

We had to escort a little boy to a castle because he had the awnser to a very important question. The city around the castle was struck by some sort of a plague and the boy knew where to get a part of the antidote.
We were to escort him and meet up with our group at the castle.
At 1 moment we encountered 3 evil Halflings (fighters) who wanted to kidnap the boy.The 3 were in front of me and the boy behind me and the rogue to my left.

During the 1st round some blows were exchanged (nothing serious), then the 2nd round began, since I won the initiative roll I was 1st .

I killed the Halfling I struck the other round and because of cleave I was able to hit again.
I rolled so badly my dm said I would hit my partner. I criticalled him and I chopped his head off, L, this being bad but not the end of the world I tried to hit 1 of the 2 remaining Halflings (great cleave) and killed 1. I was in a huge rage after killing my partner so I didn’t notice that my next hit (I rolled a 1) hit the little boy I had to escort, which split him from head to toe.
The dm told me I felt the blow I landed and that my mind registered the kill but I didn’t see it because I was looking for the last Halfling, which died in the same round.

Then after the rage subsided the dm told me I had to turn around.

I was looking at the little boy and started to cry: “Kromar no want to kill little one, Kromar sorry!”

then i trew my double-handed axe away and ran raving mad into the dark forest.

Thus ending the adventure in 2 rounds J