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Thread: Chuck Norris: The Man of Steel! Fun facts, please add to them...

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    Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat it too.

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    haha. My dad used to tell me I coulden't have my cake and eat it too. When I learned that joke he got mad at me....

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    lol oh yea dad! Well Chuck Norris can!

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    Chuck Norris uses a stuntman for crying scenes. Then immediately kills everyone on the set. This is why there is no footage of Chuck Norris crying.
    --- Merged from Double Post ---
    If you google search chuck norris getting his ass kicked you will find 0 results and a beard will come through the moniter and punch you in the face.
    Last edited by Soft Serve; 07-26-2009 at 07:45 PM. Reason: Automerged Double Post

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    You would think all of these facts about Chuck Norris are greatly exaggerated...but if anything they don't do any justice to his awesomeness.

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    The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

    There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

    Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

    When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

    What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

    Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

    According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

    There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

    People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.

    "Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

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    The dead ninjas one was new to me, that's awesome Doom Crow.

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    ,
    --- Merged from Double Post ---
    Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

    Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

    Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

    Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

    Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

    As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

    Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
    Last edited by Doom Crow; 07-29-2009 at 04:25 PM. Reason: Automerged Double Post

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    Stop posting multiples you jerks! Glory hounds! Primadonnas! Stealers of Thunder!

    Anyway...
    Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the Earth and punch himself in the back of the head.

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