Reply With QuoteOkay, this one hits below the proverbial belt: When Bruce and Chuck fought, Chuck used his dim mak (death touch) on Bruce with just the glare from his eyes.
My friend has that Mr. T and Chuck Norris book and it is hysterical.
Cursed by the Gods
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Okay, this one hits below the proverbial belt: When Bruce and Chuck fought, Chuck used his dim mak (death touch) on Bruce with just the glare from his eyes.
Thoth-Amon, Lord of the Underworld and the Undead
Once you know what the magician knows, it's not magick. It's a 'tool of Creation'. -Archmagus H.H.
The first step to expanding your reality is to discard the tendency to exclude things from possibility. - Meridjet
In the movie, Bruce Lee defeats Chuck Norris. This is only because Chuck had just finished up a 14 day battle with God himself, (in which he won) and he also didn't want to upstage Bruce in his own film. So he actually pitied the fool.
During their fight Chuck Norris actually let Bruce Lee tear out his chest hair. He actually won because he saved money on a trim job.
Ok I suck at this. I'm a Stallone fan anyway. *ducks*
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone."
When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet.
The water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Darkness if afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris has been dead for ten years, but Death is afraid to tell him.
Cascade Failure FTW
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Originally Posted by Angelus_Nox
Chuck Norris sunk the Titanic. He couldn't idly sit by while people claimed it was unsinkable.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked 23 flavors together into glass of carbonated water. This drink is now called Dr. Pepper. There is no other scientific or theological reason this could work any other way.
The only thing underneath Chuck Norris' beard is another fist.
There is a man who claims to have slept with more than 10,000 women. Chuck Norris calls this a slow tuesday.
If Chuck Norris would sleep with a man, it would not be because he turned gay. He would simply have run out of girls.
A Roundhouse Kick by Chuck Norris can power the entire USA for 2 years.
When Chuck Norris wants to shave his face, he has to Roundhouse Kick himself into the face, because the only thing that can Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat steak. He eats the entire cow.
Some people wear Superman pyjamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas.
Edit: all of the ones I posted came from my memory. Should I be worried?
No! you can never know enough about Chuck Norris
How much wood does Chuck Norris chuck when Chuck Norris chucks wood? All of it (or something along those lines)
The quickest way to anyones heart is Chuck Norris' fist.
Kids check if there are monsters under their beds. Monsters check if Chuck Norris is under their beds.
And he is.
If Chuck Norris were ever to fight himself, he would win.
The USA is not a democracy. It is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris recently destroyed the Periodic Table Of Elements because he only recognizes the element of surprise
Cascade Failure FTW
Community Supporter
If you look in the mirror and say "Chuck Norris" three times with a candle lit and the lights off. A foot will break through it and roundhouse kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird.
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