Reply With QuoteChuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink.
Chuck Norris looked death in the face and it blinked.
Also that whole South Asia Tsunami event in '04 that killed hundreds of thousands of people...Yea that was Chuck Norris too. He wasn't happy about not winning best actor at the oscars...(he wasn't nominated but does he really need to be?)
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink.
Chuck Norris looked death in the face and it blinked.
He did it because he had seen the movies and thought they were a rip. He wanted to literally Kill Bill...Originally Posted by jade von delioch
My personal fave...
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands for vacation.
Now they're just called, "The Islands".
Cursed by the Gods
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That's hilarious!
Thoth-Amon, Lord of the Underworld and the Undead
Once you know what the magician knows, it's not magick. It's a 'tool of Creation'. -Archmagus H.H.
The first step to expanding your reality is to discard the tendency to exclude things from possibility. - Meridjet
Chuck Norris can stop time by staring at a clock and flexing
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
the only hand that beats a royal flush in texas hold 'em is Chuck Norris'
Chuck Norris won the 1987 World Series of Poker with the following: 2 of Clubs, 6 of Diamonds, a Blue 4 from an Uno deck, a white bishop from a chess set and a Get Out of Jail Free Card from Monopoly.
Would you question him...I didn't think so.
"All you need is ignorance and confidence, then success is assured." -Mark Twain
Every suicide that has ever happened in the history of mankind was labeled as such because they were attacking Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress
Cascade Failure FTW
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Chuck Norris once pissed in a can. They now market it as "Red Bull"
When Chuck Norris does push-ups. He doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down.
When Chuck Norris uses a toilet, it says "thank you."
Archaeologists found three dinosaur fossils surrounding a single dinosaur fossil. The three on the outside seemed to have died from Roundhouse Kick related injuries. The center dinosaur was named The ChuckNorrisarus. They later re-named the center dino because Chuck Norris can't die.
Chuck Norris' house has no doors. Only walls that he walks through.
Chuck Norris can shoot a plane down by pointing at it and screaming "bang".
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard at a baseball game his foot opened a hole in the univers and travelled back in time to kill Amelia Earheart while she was mid-flight.
Chuck Norris can also prevent forrest fires.
Cascade Failure FTW
Community Supporter
Yep. But he's usually the one that starts them..... with his beard.
Chuck Norris can solve the Rubik's cube in half a millisecond without touching it. He just glares at it and it solves itself.
Cascade Failure FTW
Community Supporter
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar.
It immediately exploded from the level of pure awesome.
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