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Soft

Excerpt from EoC #2

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This is the death of the beloved Shaman "Scrat" who saves the parties life from the 3 20's I rolled in a row. (SERIOULS I ROLLED THREE!)

[Soft Serve] 8:07 pm: Scrat runs like hell across the slippery wooden deck, finds a spot where the
wood creaks, stops and says "did you hear that?" before falling through the deck 50ft to the lower
floor and getting impaled on sharp rocks that pierced through the boats hull when it crashed and got
stuck here in the first place.
[Cynic] 8:07 pm: charp)
[Cynic] 8:07 pm: (hahahah)
[Cynic] 8:07 pm: (pwn)
[Thoraxx The Impaler] 8:07 pm: (i lol at scrat....silly lizardfolk.....)
[Soft Serve] 8:07 pm: (I don't feel like NPC-ing)
[kantou] 8:08 pm: [lol]
[Thoraxx The Impaler] 8:08 pm: (anyway....)
[Soft Serve] 8:09 pm: (the cake is a lie)
[Thoraxx The Impaler] 8:09 pm: (NO!)
[Cynic] 8:09 pm: (your mom is a lie)
[Soft Serve] 8:09 pm: (ROFL)
[Soft Serve] 8:09 pm: (oh, and the computer is your friend)
[Cynic] 8:09 pm: i walk toward the boaty thing and avoid falling through
[Soft Serve] 8:09 pm: Alright...the wood holds up.
[kantou] 8:09 pm: follow
[Soft Serve] 8:09 pm: Until about halfway.
[Soft Serve] 8:10 pm: Then it hold sup super strong.
[kantou] 8:10 pm: lol
[Cynic] 8:10 pm: (hahah)
[Soft Serve] 8:10 pm: And you get attacked by archers.
Soft Serve starts rolling some dice: (1d20)
Soft Serve -> 1d20 (20)
Soft Serve starts rolling some dice: (1d20)
Soft Serve -> 1d20 (20)
Soft Serve starts rolling some dice: (1d20)
Soft Serve -> 1d20 (20)
[kantou] 8:10 pm: wtf
[Cynic] 8:10 pm: wtf
[Soft Serve] 8:10 pm: (OMFG!)\
[Cynic] 8:10 pm: wtf
[kantou] 8:10 pm: dude no lol
[Thoraxx The Impaler] 8:10 pm: (hax)
[Soft Serve] 8:10 pm: (HOLY ****ING DIVER!)
[Cynic] 8:10 pm: WHAT
[Cynic] 8:10 pm: THE
[Cynic] 8:10 pm: ****
[Soft Serve] 8:10 pm: (no seriousl!)
[kantou] 8:10 pm: rewrite that part
[kantou] 8:10 pm: lol
[Cynic] 8:10 pm: OMG
[kantou] 8:10 pm: make some eagle come down to take the hits
[Soft Serve] 8:10 pm: (Look at the underlines! You can't put underlines in here, those are legit
rolls!)
[kantou] 8:11 pm: legit rolls of doom
[Cynic] 8:11 pm: my head explodes out of pure amazement
[Soft Serve] 8:11 pm: (There is literally a 1/80,000 shance that will EVER happen)
[Thoraxx The Impaler] 8:11 pm: amazement and the arrows ****ing your face
Cynic starts rolling some dice: (1d20+3)
Cynic -> 1d20 (4)+ 3 (3) = 7
[Cynic] 8:11 pm: ...
[Soft Serve] 8:11 pm: (omfg I am so proud)
[kantou] 8:11 pm: ok i guess we need to roll
Soft Serve starts rolling some dice: (1d20)
Soft Serve -> 1d20 (11)
kantou starts rolling some dice: (1d20+
kantou -> 1d20 (9)+ 8 (8) = 17
[Soft Serve] 8:11 pm: (damn. I went for 4)
Thoraxx The Impaler starts rolling some dice: (1d20)
Thoraxx The Impaler -> 1d20 (11)
[Cynic] 8:11 pm: we all just died...yay!)
[Thoraxx The Impaler] 8:12 pm: YAY
[kantou] 8:12 pm: [have a eagle come down t otake our hits or something or the bridge moves and the
arrows miss lol
[Cynic] 8:12 pm: i call for air support and have a dragon rape them
[Cynic] 8:12 pm: =D
[Soft Serve] 8:12 pm: (hang on)
[Thoraxx The Impaler] 8:13 pm: I lay bleeding and twitching on the ground...
[kantou] 8:13 pm: air support
[Soft Serve] 8:13 pm: A giant octopus tentacle shoots out of the deck below you, which sends
Scrat's body into the air. Scrat says "Hey guys I'm Still alive!" before taking all three arrows to the
back of the head. The octopus then swims away because his mom called him home for dinner.
[Cynic] 8:14 pm: (lmao)
[Cynic] 8:14 pm: I pwn the face of the archers...
[Thoraxx The Impaler] 8:14 pm: (i knew we'd be okay if i prayed to Cthulu!)

The lesson here is when you pray to Cthulhu everything good happens.

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Comments

  1. Thriondel Half-Elven's Avatar
    That's great!