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Blond Gamer Girl

Gaming, Tennis or Tea

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Blond Gamer Girl
, 09-28-2010 at 04:51 PM (592 Views)
Now my comments are not about the game that I am running because folks stay in character pretty well but there is a game that I play in where that is NOT the case. The system we play is my favorite so yes I want to stay in character. Sure, when I arrive at the game, I'm good to chat for awhile, take a break or two during, and certainly chat afterwards. However, this particular group won't stay in character for more than five minutes at a time and that's generous.

Finally, recently, I said look, "Are we just not meshing here? From the GM, I hear "I can always GM something else if no one wants to play." My response - This is my favorite game but I won't speak for anyone else at the table. Side bar - That lead me to believe that the GM really isn't putting forth much effort or running a canned campaign. My reasoning.... Currently, I'm running a campaign in a different system that's not canned and I'm putting forth great effort and its going to be long term. If someone were to just up and suggest another game instead, I would have many colorful adjectives to respond to that because I have put forth a bunch of effort.

Another player said that they were fine with just getting together and chatting instead of gaming. To which, I responded with "sure." Not that I wouldn't mind chatting with this other player over tea but when I write a background, put forth a character sheet and lug all my gaming stuff for/to said game, I wanna game. To just chat, I don't want to put forth all the aforementioned effort. I'll meet them for coffee or something and put forth my $2 which I have done in the past with other gaming friends and still do.

With the second point, maybe I missed something because I equate it to this: Years ago when I was an avid tennis player, my tennis buddies and I would meet for a movie or gossip and we did. However, when we met on the tennis court with our gear and court time that we paid for, we played tennis. We didn't even keep score since we were friends. We just played to improve our skills. There was no question of doing anything else.

Does anyone else feel as I do? Have similar experiences? Or Did I miss the memo?

Not trying to be a negative nelly but gorrammit, I had to get this off my chest. Also, I just realized that I miss tennis. I may not be John McEnroe (though I can curse like him if provoked) but I had fun and my legs were tan.

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  1. froglegg's Avatar
    It happens alot and it stinks. It is so hard to find others who want to game on so to speak. Talking some before the game is ok and after as well but the reason we came together was to game. Now with where I live, I DM for my wife because there are no other gamers around that I know of anyway. Hey one player is better then no player. We went all old school and are playing a 1st Edition AD&D Forgotten Realms Campaign. Any way nice write up Blond.

    John
  2. bloodtide's Avatar
    This is quite common. A lot of people just don't have the will power or attention span to play a game.

    The worst is when you show up to game at 6pm and everyone just sits around and hangs out until like 10 pm, and then you only get to game for like an hour before everyone has to 'run'.

    And just is bad are the ones that goof off through out the game. Every five minutes or so they have to joke around or say something dumb out of character and so forth. And naturally, the GM will let them run wild.

    And for the last couple years, you have the whole cell phone text problem too.

    And this problem as gotten Worse as I've gotten older. As 'mature adults' most people set up their lives to have No Free Time. So the weekly game is their Only free time all week. So they use that time to chat and hang out and such.

    With my home game, I did learn a good trick: plan hang out time. The easy way is to have people come over at like 1pm and then have the game start at 6pm. A bit more involved, is to step up a separate time. We used Wednesdays, where we would all get together to just hang out.
  3. Malachi57's Avatar
    I was actually the main culprit in my group for this. Being the DM and having the No Free Time thing going on, I would wait until 5 minutes before our game to get the table, laptop and gaming bits set up. Not to mention if I had to print anything out! It seemed like a good hour before we would actually be ready to go, and we only had about 3 hours to play as is! I learned from that and now set everything up the night before so I can come home on Friday night and I'm ready to go without having to worry about skipping dinner!

    The part about players not really playing is tough. If the group agrees to play in character and gets sidetracked by little Sally running through the room or the dogs needing to be taken out, then maybe a discussion can be had about changing the venue or limiting those distractions. If the players themselves are getting distracted it would probably still have to come down to a vote as to whether or not the roleplay should go on, or if a more laid-back game would better suit the participants. Either way, it sounds like disappointment may be in your future if the game you're playing is your favorite. Sorry to hear that. Let us know how that turns out.
  4. cplmac's Avatar
    Yes, these distractions can potentially wreck an entire game session, but the DM/GM needs to be able to get everyone back on track. Our group does have several of these interuptions come into play. First, we have 4 married couples in our group and 2 of them have children. Another member has to bring his kids along also. Usually the kids play amongst themselves, but we do usually have an arguement or two that has to be delt with. When these arise, we use these times to allow for bathroom breaks, getting refills of drinks & snacks, or just getting up to stretch your legs from sitting around the table.

    Second, cell phones. Yep they can be a nuisance, but some people have to have them. In our case, we have many people with older parents that keep in touch so that they know everything is ok. We also have one member who is a regional manager for the company that he works for and is basically on call 24/7. Another is a manager of a restaurant and usually has to answer questions from the other workers.

    Granted, every once in awhile, someone will say something that afterwards, we all bust out laughing. It just happens that every now and then, somebody says something funny. Occaisionally it may even be one of the kids that says it.

    Ultimately, it should be the DM/GM's responsibility to keeping the game going forward. There will naturally be times where the game flow will get interrupted by something or other. However, I do agree with Blond Gamer Girl in that if you are getting together to game, it shouldn't be a surprise that you expect to do some gaming. If others want to be able to get together and just talk, then schedule another meeting for just that.
  5. Blond Gamer Girl's Avatar
    Well, I thought I would let everyone know how this drama ended. My Etiquettely Challenged blog relates to this game as well. Anyhow, I withdrew from the game in a polite email that had a few days reflection and a second set of eyes proof. The GM, after having every player but his wife withdraw, blamed me. Funny thing is I've been called the in character Nazi. During a LARP, I had folks thinking I was British, on drugs and ready to vomit based on keeping in character (none of which were true but how the character was). What's a player to do? Keep talking in character while the GM's spouse gripes and groans about everything under the sun.