Smash-time is the best time.
by, 03-03-2010 at 08:58 PM (1307 Views)
The group explored the remainder of the tomb-block without much further incident. They picked up some nice goodies from the spectre's room, and after a bit more exploring found a passage that led them back into the more regularly cut passages of Undermountain. They explored a bit more, got past a few traps and were going down a passage sloping upwards.
Heinrich, playing around with a wand he found, "Shazam!!"
Garion: "Heinrich, put that thing down before it goes off, you don't have a clue what it does. Identify it later."
Heinrich: "Hell no! I'm going to figure this thing out before tomorrow so I don't have to waste a spell!", twirls the wand around and points it at Garion, "Blastum!"
Garion: "Whatever gnome... if that goes off, I'll personally shove it up your..."
Kyra: "Quiet! I think I hear something up ahead!"
Og: "Good, Og tired of walk-time."
They stop at a corner in the hall and wait quietly in the dark. After a few seconds, they see a light coming around the corner. The light draws closer and they hear several sets of footsteps. Weapons ready they wait.
Finally, rounding the corner are five men; mercenaries by the looks of it, one of them in front is wearing a tabard belonging to House Urgase, one of the noble houses in the region who the party had dealings with before.
Dragon: "What are you doing down here?"
House Urgase Noble Fighter: "These passages have been claimed by the great Lord Urgase. You rabble are trespassing upon his lands. Unless you want trouble plebe, you must owe tribute to Lord Urgase."
Dragon: "I didn't know Urgase claimed all of Under...."
House Urgase Noble Fighter: "LORD Urgase! He has earned his title which is more than I can say for you!"
Dragon: "Oh... EXCUSE ME! LORD Urgase! I didn't know LORD Urgase had the audacity to annex all of Undermountain!"
House Urgase Noble Fighter: "Undermountain has connections to many of Lord Urgase's domain. He also is the only noble house to do extensive mapping of it's depths. It is for these reasons he has laid claim to it's passages."
Dragon: "So, just because there are some entrances and exits in the basements of some buildings Ur... LORD Urgase owns, he thinks he can just claim Undermountain? I'm suprised just because the sunlight HAPPENS to come into his house he doesn't claim that too!!"
House Urgase Noble Fighter: "Watch your tongue! You're in enough trouble for tresspass..."
At the rear of the party, Heinrich, bored out of his skull and not getting the wand to go off, pulls out a book on chaos magic and starts casually flipping through it.
Og, taps Heinrich on the shoulder, "Heinrich?"
Heinrich: "Yea Og?"
Og: "Is dis talk-time?"
Heinrich: "Uhh yea Og, this is talk-time."
Og: "Darn... Og no like talk-time. Tell Og when it smash-time."
Heinrich: "Ok Og."
Garion: "...and if YOU think we're going to hand over ONE copper coin to some fat noble who sit's around on his ass all day..."
Mercenary: "...they're even travelling with a drow!", he spits on the floor after saying the word.
Kyra: "And WHAT is wrong with me being a DROW?!"
House Urgase Noble Fighter: "...you WILL offer tribute you son of a whore!"
Dragon: "...and why don't you just try to MAKE us scrag-face??!"
Mercenary: "Drow whore!"
Heinrich "... ... Hey Og?"
Og: "Yea Heinrich?"
Heinrich: "It's smash-time Og."
Og, pulling the massive battleaxe off his back, "OOOHHH!!! Good! Dat Og FAVORITE time!"
Heinrich: "That's good Og, just thought I'd let you know..."
The mercenaries and party are screaming at each other now. Hands are on weapons ready to be pulled. Suddenly, Og comes leaping through the ranks axe high over his head...
House Urgase Noble Fighter: "SCRAG-FACE?! WHY YOU... HUH??"
The lead fighter gets the edge of the axe directly in his face. The other mercenaries stand there stunned and watch as Og puts a booted foot on the fighter's head to stabalize it so he can wiggle his axe free from his skull.
Og: "HEH HEH, OG SMASH HIM GUD!!!"
Mercenary, drawing weapons: "BASTARD!!!"
A fight breaks out and each side gets pretty bloody. As the last mercenary tries to take off running, Garion puts two arrows in his back dropping him. The entire time, Heinrich hasn't done a thing, still standing at the rear of the party flipping through his book with Nahals on his shoulder also reading and acting as if nobody else is there.
Dragon: "Aww man, we're in deep crud if news travels back about this..."
Garion: "Way to negotiate Dragon..."
Kyra: "Hey, I won't tell if you won't..."
Og, noticably depressed the fight is already over: "Aww... it walk time again, huh?"
Heinrich: "Hey, did you know demons from the 27th level of the Abyss have at least four arms?"