The most vile stench in all of Faerūn
by, 02-15-2010 at 05:08 PM (1688 Views)
The group continued beyond the mummies. Unfortunately for Og, they did not taste like jerky...
Og, throwing aside a mummy arm, "BLECK! TASTE LIKE MANTICORE!"
Dragon: "That's bad, right?"
Og: "YOU NO EAT M..."
Heinrich, chiming in: "Yea yea, we no eat manticore, we got you the first dozen times Og!"
Og: "'KAY, MUMMY MAKE OG TUMMY NOT SO GUD..."
Garion: "Maybe we should have told him not to eat it, you know, mummy rot and all that?"
Dragon: "Oh, are YOU going to tell him no?!"
Kyra: "If you're done arguing, I think I found the release to this door."
The group had searched the room over and found nothing. The only other exit was a stone door that had no visable release. They just had Kyra look over it for traps and to figure out how to open it.
Kyra: "Just push this stone here in the arch."
Dragon, pulling his blades getting ready for whatever was on the other side: "Sounds good, open it."
Kyra: "Ohh n-n-n-n-n-no! I'M going to stand back here and let someone like YOU open it. The last time you said 'Krya, open that door' and I stupidly obeyed, the black pudding on the other side just about took my foot off!"
Dragon: "Fine, stand aside..."
Dragon walks up and hits the stone, the door slides smoothly into the ceiling like the other one. A hall is beyond lit with a magical blue light. The group begins walking down it. They come to another stone door, this one like the first with a lever release on the outside. Dragon opens it and they see another stone chamber beyond, brazers in the corners suddenly sparking to life with magical blue flames. Alcoves in the walls are filled with skeletons. Four stone pedestals in the center of the room each hold a single brass urn. The groups is on edge, expecting the skeletons to start popping out attacking. They step into the room wary; but there is no movement.
Garion: "I think we're good, none of those look like mummies."
Dragon: "I'm going to check out those urns, you guys get ready in case that triggers them into attacking."
Heinrich: "I'll be back here in the hall when they do figure out they have a bone to pick with you! Heh heh..."
Nahals: "Haha! Good one boss!"
Heinrich: "Yea, hi-five little guy!"
Dragon, while holding both swords still in a munchkinistic effort not to be caught at all unprepared, tries feebly to lift the top off the first urn. I have him do a dexterity check and he fails. The urn's lid pops off suddenly and from the recoil and the fact that he wasn't holding the urn; the urn takes a nosedive toward the floor spilling out a load of platinum coins.
Heinrich: "Way to go moron! Next time, sheath your swords before you try that, it's what they're there for!"
I have the group roll initiative and they're all on edge. All eyes are to the alcoves. A black mist forms behind Dragon into the shape of a spectre. It swings but thankfully for him, misses. They are scared to hell now; this is the first badass undead I've thrown at them. While mummies are nasty brawlers, I knew they'd be fine because Heinrich likes to keep a stock of fire spells handy, and he can always break out the ol' Nahal's. Any of them getting mummy rot would just be added fun and serve to sink some of their gold as they got it removed. I had thrown a mummy or two at them before.
Throwing a spectre at them was another thing entirely. I didn't pull punches with level draining, and getting hit by one of the big old double-level-drainer undead was one of their worst nightmares.
Dragon: "OH MY GOD! Heinrich! Whatever you got, I don't care if you throw a ground-zero fireball!!"
Dragon as a player would have preferred to sit in the far back and let ranged combatants deal with this, but it's in his face and he doesn't have that luxury. He attacks with his two katana, missing with the first, hitting with the second; but while his first blade is a +2 weapon, his offhand is a normal sword and does no damage.
Garion pulls +2 arrows from his quiver and fires, the arrows hit; thunking into the side of the spectre causing damage. The arrows hang there in mid-air in the vaporous body of the spectre before suddenly dropping to the stonework.
Heinrich: "OG! THAT THING REALLY HATES YOUR MOTHER AND EATS MANTICORE AND SAYS YOU'RE A PANSEY!!!"
Og: "Og not feel so gud..."
Heinrich had used up his fireball with the first set of mummies. Offensively, he only has burning hands and some magic missiles left so he chooses the latter and blasts off a round of magic missiles dealing some decent damage. Kyra throws her +1 dagger at it hitting with an effect similar to Garion's arrows. The spectre rears back one if it's misty clawed hands and is about to bring it down onto Dragon when this low rolling rumble echos through the chamber. Og lets out a sigh of relief and stands back straight again drawing his axe from letting loose one of the most vile farts in Faerūn.
DM: "You turn to see Og standing back up from releasing this roaringly loud fart that reverberated through the stone room. You think you actually hear a soft thud as the vile, heavy thing seeps out his loincloth and hits the stone floor. Then, you smell it... everyone roll save vs. poison, it's easily on the order of a stinking cloud spell; perhaps worse." Heinrich misses. "Heinrich, you turn green and puke your lunch out nauseated."
Og: "Og feel MUCH better now!!"
Spectre: "YOU DARE DESECRATE THIS HOLY RESTING PLACE?!"
It's the spectre's turn and it turns away from Dragon and lunges toward Og and misses.
Dragon: "Yea Og!!" Relieved he's no longer the target drops his offhand and attacks with his magic blade hitting twice. Garion misses with his arrow, Kyra pulls her magic shortsword but doesn't attack and Heinrich lets loose another couple magic missiles. Finally Og hefts his axe high over his head...
Og: "OG SMASH SMOKEY GUY!!"
..and brings it sailing through the spectre, causing it's black form to dissolve into nothingness.
Dragon: "Og! You really saved my rear!"
I have everyone roll another save, this time, Dragon fails and immediately pukes all over the floor. Everyone else is vacating the room.
Og: "Og NEVER, NEVER eat mummy again!!"