PDA

View Full Version : Portents of Doom: Famous, or imfamous last words uttered in your campaigns...



Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
04-04-2009, 01:37 PM
Here's a couple to get the ball rolling:

#1: "Oh, shiney object in a pool of water. Someone get me a rope to tie around my waste." Fighter dropped a couple of charisma points. Lost much of his face due to the hungry creature living in the pool. INJURED.

#2: "Oh, shiny obects in a pile of garbage." Last statement of our foolhary theif just before he lost his arm to Rot Grubs. Now we call him Lefty. INJURED.

#3: "I'll go down that rat hole. Someone tie a rope around me and if you feel me tug at it, pull me up quick." Well, by the time the party got the greedy halfling back up, he was stripped to the bone. DEATH.

That should get the ball rolling.

#4?

#5?

#6?

Etc, etc, etc

kirksmithicus
04-05-2009, 12:16 AM
#4 "I think I should be the Captain of the ship" one player challenges another for command of the ship. The challenger loses and is killed. The loser then taunts the other PC and tells him that he has a ring of regeneration and that he's going to kill him after his character regenerates. The other player takes the ring and the rest of the PC's wrap the losing PC in rope and chains attached to an anchor and throw him overboard. "Are you going to let them get away with this!"

#5 Player: "I have seamanship as a skill, so I'll pilot the ship through the dangerous rocks". Me: "you don't need to roll, the crew can handle it". Player: "I want to roll, I get an 25 extra experience for each skill roll". Me: "fine, roll". Player: rolls "never mind". Me "what did you get?" Other Player: "a 1" (out of 100) Me: "under your expert guidance the ship rams into the rocks and begins to sink. Look on the bright side, you now get to make at least a half dozen swimming skill checks". Player: "C**p! I didn't take swimming as a skill".

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
04-05-2009, 12:27 AM
#6 Just thought of another great one. This happened in WLD(Worlds Largest Dungeon): A player closed the door of a room between him and a group of Orcs, and the rest of his party. He challenged the leader with the thought of gaining the other orcs loyalty if he defeated their leader. Long story short: Orc killed him easily all the while the rest of the party was locked out of the room.

To save face, the player stated that he did this in the attempt to recruit the orcs. The GM(me) then responded with: No, they would have just killed you anyway. They are CE and have no loyalty to humans.

Player was so mad at this, that he quit the game and stormed off.

Grimwell
04-05-2009, 10:14 AM
"I'll use this strange powder to make a tea. When it's done I'll drink it to see what it does."

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
04-05-2009, 10:27 AM
"I'll use this strange powder to make a tea. When it's done I'll drink it to see what it does."
...it's the only way to be sure.

GoddessGood
04-06-2009, 09:18 AM
The bored halfling tinker's player:

"I wonder what happens when I pour water on elemental powder?"

Turns out, it turns into the element it's made of. We had a mudslide, a flood and a forest fire all in the same town at the same time. The Halfling died, as did most of the rest of the town.

tesral
04-06-2009, 09:25 AM
"I can handle him!" -- Dwarf that charged forward to single combat a purple worm, just before being swallowed alive.

Kaewin
04-06-2009, 12:30 PM
"No don't use alchemy I will sip the potion to tell you what it is." He was right it was acid.

The most infamous set of words at the table is the word "oops" When it is uttered you something horribly and terribly wrong is about to happen

On seperate characters and occasions the player who says this had destroyed the eastern seabord from Norfolk Va to Atlantic City, undone time/space continuity (twice) and rampage through a crowded ER in San Deigo killing scores of people including a bus full of nuns. And thats just the ones that stick out. We call it the "Wolford Effect" after the player.


I'm sorry I forgot to mention that except for the rampage the other events were with benign powers.

tesral
04-06-2009, 12:45 PM
Oh yes, the character who wished for the Goblin King's Crystal ball*. After he got to play with it for a good long time the Goblin King came to collect, him. As he was being dragged to Hell "I thought it was a benign object!"


* For those of you that do not remember Labyrinth (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091369/) directed by Jim Henson with David Bowie as the Goblin King. It was big at the time.

yukonhorror
04-06-2009, 01:05 PM
"Now hold really still."

As the paladin tries to cut off the finger of an illusionist thief who got some evil goo (corrupts mind and makes you into bad guy if not rid of) on his finger.

Didn't roll so well, and our thief lost his hand.

Similar thing happened to me but instead of goo it was a stirge, and instead of a finger, it was my neck.

GoddessGood
04-06-2009, 01:19 PM
This reminds me of the medically-inclined Twilight Caste we have in our group. She has a set of artifact acupuncture needles that help her with the healing process. Occasionally she'll mutter something like, "Now hold still, this may hurt ... a bit."

Kaewin
04-06-2009, 01:50 PM
I had a problem with a stirge too, I was sitting as a player when a stirge attached to my chest the woman helping me got a critcal miss and put her hand ax into my chest. Luckly we had leveled up to third or I would have had a problem

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
04-06-2009, 03:05 PM
Stirge swarms are great. One is sure to come across a stirge swarm in WLD. And, or course, what inevitably can happen during a stirge swarm? Someone in the party volunteering to cut that thing off your neck or chest. This is where crits and failures entertains the GM. <making Evil GM laugh>

Other great examples where characters risked risked critting to save a fellow player:
1) Rot Grubs. (not really so dangerous to the veteran player, but to the newbees, its great fun.
2) Giant Ticks the size of small animals.
3) Serpents crushing the stuffing out of players.
4) Giant Leaches the size of small animals.

Well, you get the idea.

So, what were the famous last words uttered or thought with all these scenarios? The immortal Q-Bert says it best: $#%%&&!

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
03-03-2010, 11:53 AM
"Oh, this is sooo gonna hurt." - Statement our intrepid thief made when he failed a climb check and was falling a long distance towards an inknown underwater river in the Underdark.

cplmac
03-03-2010, 01:05 PM
"Oh, this is sooo gonna hurt." - Statement our intrepid thief made when he failed a climb check and was falling a long distance towards an inknown underwater river in the Underdark.


We have been searching through the Underdark for a party of Elven pilgrims that had been abducted. We eventually come to a large cavern with a lake at the far end and is filled with a vast number of orcs, both adult and their "children". The party has convinced Corabell (CG Cleric) to leave and not battle the ancient female orc, (there were 7 party members that would have been going against no less than 50 orcs at once), we come back to the room of our last battle. We encounter another group of orcs coming out of the passage that we hadn't went down yet. There is 4 regular orcs, 1 large orc, and 1 spell capable orc. Belsar (my LN Fighter) says to Dengar (LG Ranger) while Corabell "negotiates" the release of this group of orcs dwarf captive, "7 against 6, I like these odds better." As the large orc says that he will just kill the captive now, Corabell hits him with a hold spell and saves the dwarf. She then yells, "Attack!" and charges up to fight the orcs. Just then we hear the voice of the ancient orc coming from the passage that we came out of, "I told you to get out. Now you will pay the consequences."


That was where we wrapped for the last game session. We will be picking up there this Saturday.

Update:

Well, we were caught by surprise when the Ancient Orc Hag and some other Orcs came at us from behind, which then gave the Orcs the initative. (That is what we used for the explanation that the Orcs got to go first, since the initative dice rolls went in the Orcs favor.) As suspected, the Hag had spell abilities. Luckily, she was only able to affect one of our party members, the fighter that we gained in the last session. It was a hard fought battle, but, we were able to succeed in defeating the Orcs. This did however, come with us taking a considerable amount of damage all around. What helped with this battle, was the fact that 3 of our party returned just after the battle started. They also had 2 other people with them. Reinforcements at just the right time. Now instead of us being attacked from 2 sides, over half of the orcs were now in the position of having attackers on both sides of them.

And yes, we were able to free the Dwarf that the group of Orcs had captive. Turned out that he was the grandson of another dwarf that we have met previously.

I will be updating Belsar's Journal on my Blog tomorrow with more details of the battle.

Arkhemedes
03-03-2010, 01:33 PM
Here's a couple:

While going through the Expedition to Barrier Peaks module (for those who don't know, it's a crashed space ship full of robots and other high technology that fantasy type characters are completely unfamiliar with), my character holds up what I think is a communication device to his ear and speaks into it. "Hello, hello. Can anybody hear me?" - Turns out it was a type of hand grenade. The DM was way too kind and let my character live when it went off - probably because he couldn't stop laughing.

A player in one of my campaigns, whose character is a wererat and things he's immune to all but magic and magic weapons, steps up to a couple of giants, laughs in their faces and says to them, "Bring it on!" He died within a few rounds. (Monsters of 4+1 HD don't need magic weapons to hit a lycanthrope in 2e).

wbrandel
03-05-2010, 12:40 PM
In the last game I ran in Febuary the rogue said "I tie a rope around me and go in to the field of bones" this was just before a Skeletal Tomb Gaurdian gave him a good smack down to the tune of 45 points. As he lay there he yelped "ouch!!! pull me out!!, Pull me out!!"

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
03-05-2010, 03:31 PM
Here's a couple:

While going through the Expedition to Barrier Peaks module (for those who don't know, it's a crashed space ship full of robots and other high technology that fantasy type characters are completely unfamiliar with), my character holds up what I think is a communication device to his ear and speaks into it. "Hello, hello. Can anybody hear me?" - Turns out it was a type of hand grenade. The DM was way too kind and let my character live when it went off - probably because he couldn't stop laughing.

A player in one of my campaigns, whose character is a wererat and things he's immune to all but magic and magic weapons, steps up to a couple of giants, laughs in their faces and says to them, "Bring it on!" He died within a few rounds. (Monsters of 4+1 HD don't need magic weapons to hit a lycanthrope in 2e).
Great module, BTW. I have something similar that happened in our Barrier Peaks expedition.

Long story short, our dwarf in the party who was known for having a lack of patience, grabbed the unknown device from our intelligent wizard (who was trying to figure out its use at the time), pointing the thin end facing him, wide end facing away whilst grasping the hook. His last words before pulling the trigger were: "Since warhammers are the most highly advanced weaponry known to man, this is how you use... ." He never did finish his sentence, dwarfmatter spraying all over the party.

Ah, good - and messy - times.

traesin
03-06-2010, 10:36 AM
"hey guys, I'm going to open the door....."

Arkhemedes
03-06-2010, 11:43 AM
Had a player tell me once in one of my campaigns, while his character was trying to scale a two hundred foot cliff with a rope, "I have an 80% chance. No problem."

Rolls dice.

"Um...uh oh."

cplmac
03-08-2010, 09:02 AM
Ok, this one is for the last words of an NPC that was attacking our party.

As we were fighting outside of an old run down keep, that the party wanted to get inside, we had taken out the attackers, leaving only the leader of that group. As he steps up to Belsar (my character), he says, "I am sure that you won't find me to be as easy of an opponent." He then promptly swings his sword and does some minor damage. Belsar looks at him and says, "We'll see about that." Swings his Battle Axe twice. Crits on the first swing and does enough damage on the second that the attacker falls to the ground bleeding profusely. Belsar then continues toward the gate of the keep.

traesin
03-08-2010, 02:54 PM
How about diving head first into what they thought was water...Acid.

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
03-08-2010, 06:18 PM
Here's and oldie but goodie: Party comes up on this pond with a shiny object in the middle and underwater. Dwarf says, i'm gonna tie this rope around me and dive in to get the shiny doodad. When i pull on the rope, you all pull me up. <sounds simple enough>

Well, he was pulled up - half of him. Needless to say, no one in the party went in to see what got him.

Ahhh, good times.

brutology
03-08-2010, 11:11 PM
after much contemplation on how to word a wish properly i i blurted out i wish for a ring of da#$it i forgot what i was going to say!!!! and said ring appeared around my finger.

later in the campaign my partner did something crazy so i pointed at him and said da#@ you and poof he disappeared.

turns out he went to one of the nine hells. so he makes a bargain and comes back to kick my butt we had a horrendous battle and the campaign ended

nifty ring though i think it took the dm all of two seconds to come up with it lol.