Beardy McBeard

[Webhead]

Exotic Weapon Proficiency (beard blade)...

[DeathByDM]

wtf?

[Webhead]

wtf?

Sorry. Next Dwarf character I play will be named Beardy McBeard and he will specialize in a "beard blade". A bladed weapon clasped and woven into his 4-foot long beard. Think of something similar to a whip-dagger but using his beard as the whip...while still attached to his face, of course. ;)

[Grumpy Old Man]

Never thought of that, I have made several long haired characters with metal beads braided into their pig tails but the beard? Your old boy has a long and supple neck does he. Uh by the way if the beard is 4' long how does he not walk on the beard and/or sword or do you keep it flung over your shoulder. That could be a little uncomfortable sitting down and you get sliced in the nether regions.

[Kalanth]

I am speachless and dumbfounded....

[Webhead]

Never thought of that, I have made several long haired characters with metal beads braided into their pig tails but the beard? Your old boy has a long and supple neck does he. Uh by the way if the beard is 4' long how does he not walk on the beard and/or sword or do you keep it flung over your shoulder. That could be a little uncomfortable sitting down and you get sliced in the nether regions.

Thrown around the back of his neck like a scarf when walking.

And yes, he's well practiced in yoga and the "supple arts" a la the Exotic Weapon Proficiency. ;)

Oh, did I mention he's going to be a Bard who specializes in playing spoons?


I am speachless and dumbfounded....

Excellent! My work here is done.

[Bearfoot_Adam]

Will he have any skills in dance. For his exotic bladed beard twirly dervish of death?

[Webhead]

Will he have any skills in dance. For his exotic bladed beard twirly dervish of death?

He will now! I'm imaging him shuffle and twirl to the sound of Irish riverdance music while playing his spoons!

Edit - Ooh! Just thought of the perfect character quote:

Beardy McBeard: "This calls for a dance!"

[Webhead]

Some character background:

Beardy McBeard hails from the Beard district of the great Dwarven city of Beardopolis, hewn from the ancient stone deep within the heart of Mount Beard.

From the time his beard was long enough, he was trained in the ancient and obscure art of beardsmanship, the skill to wield the difficult but deadly weapon known as the "beard blade". Only an elite few bearded warriors truly master the bizarre martial art, but those who do are counted among Beardopolis' most cunning and fearsome defenders.

[DeathByDM]

If only you could somehow combine this with swordchucks.

http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e166/jpohagan/SwordChucks.jpg

[DeathByDM]

How about instead of blades have two morningstars on the end of the beard.

Call them hairy balls.

[Webhead]

If only you could somehow combine this with swordchucks.

http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e166/jpohagan/SwordChucks.jpg

Hmmm...yes! Beard-chucks! I like it! Fighter would be proud! :D


How about instead of blades have two morningstars on the end of the beard.

Call them hairy balls.

I'm not even gonna touch that one!

[cplmac]

So if Beardy fails his attack roll, does this mean that he either stepped on the beard or does it get stuck in something?

[tesral]

He will now! I'm imaging him shuffle and twirl to the sound of Irish riverdance music while playing his spoons!

Edit - Ooh! Just thought of the perfect character quote:

Beardy McBeard: "This calls for a dance!"

Team him up with Par Ironclub and "The Dwarf with no Name."

Par Ironclub a feared dwarven warrior and his faithful Squire Nibbic who carries his leather bag of weapons. "Nibbic, this calls for the +2 warhammer. FOOOOORE!!!!"

The Dwarf with no Name a mysterious defender that comes out of the shadows weilding his twin hand made boomsticks, solves the current problem and vanishes again without a word. Always seen in his unconventional flat broad-brimed hat and the loose sleevless overgarment. A Dwarf of fewer words. He commonly has a roll of hobbit pipe-weed chenched in his teeth.

[Arch Lich Thoth-Amon]

How about instead of blades have two morningstars on the end of the beard.

Call them hairy balls.
I about coughed up my soda on this comment. Warn me next time.

[tesral]

I about coughed up my soda on this comment. Warn me next time.

Dude, you need teenagers.

[Arch Lich Thoth-Amon]

Dude, you need teenagers.
Hey, i was mid swig when reading this comment. It was that last thing i expected to read. I didnt have a chance. LOL

[tesral]

Hey, i was mid swig when reading this comment. I didnt have a chance. LOL

Teenagers, they get you jaded to everything. The boys would try and freak the old man, then find out why I was the old man. They thought it was new, I knew better.

"Age and Treachery beat youth and enthusiasm every time."

[boulet]

Le temps ne fait rien à l'affaire
Quand on est con, on est con
Qu'on ait vingt ans, qu'on soit grand-père
Quand on est con, on est con
Entre vous, plus de controverses
Cons caducs ou cons débutants
Petits cons d'la dernière averse
Vieux cons des neiges d'antan

(a classic of French songs about generations conflict : general message, whatever your age, young dumbass, old dumbass, one remains a dumbass;))

[Inquisitor Tremayne]

Dear Webhead,

I am starting to become concerned with your mental well-being and/or your over abundance of free-time. If you need counseling please do not hesitate to ask.

Sincerely,
Inquisitor Tremayne, Concerned Moderator








I am joking of course, Beardy McBeard, hilarious!

[Webhead]

Dear Webhead,

I am starting to become concerned with your mental well-being and/or your over abundance of free-time. If you need counseling please do not hesitate to ask.

Sincerely,
Inquisitor Tremayne, Concerned Moderator

I am joking of course, Beardy McBeard, hilarious!

Thank you for your kind offer. I'm a goofball, what can I say?

I'm glad you are entertained as well. Beardy McBeard is an excercise in exactly how bizarre I can get should I end up in another 3e game in the near future. 'Ole Beardy probably won't get past stage 1 of character creation with the DM, but it's nice to dream! :)

Although, I did manage to play a duck once, so I guess anything is possible (yeah, I know. I still feel bad about that...but I was entertained!). :noidea:

[Webhead]

...Par Ironclub a feared dwarven warrior and his faithful Squire Nibbic who carries his leather bag of weapons. "Nibbic, this calls for the +2 warhammer. FOOOOORE!!!!"...

I like this idea. Almost reminds me of one of the PCs in a Furry Pirates game I ran several years ago. A chihuahua Spanish inquisitor with a penguin sidekick that carried his torture implements for him. "Garcia...the hot irons!"

[nijineko]

might i suggest the lasher prestige class? specializes in the whip and whip-dagger, gets all sorts of useful abilities with them. such as when using the whip (not whip-dagger) they can grasp and snag items with the whip... in your case, beard. ^^

likewise if you could get the alter self ability somehow (via spell, power, or item) then you could change the length of your beard for those extra long reach attacks, and for swinging indy-jones-style off of things. warshaper would be perfect, if you can qualify for it. ^^ adds 5' of reach at will.

take a few ranks in heal for the accupressure techniques... after all, can't have one getting a crick in the neck, oh no.

[boulet]

The problem with this character is other players. I know if Beardy McBeard was to annoy me I would shave him in his sleep. There goes all the specialization on the "exotic" weapon.

[Arch Lich Thoth-Amon]

The problem with this character is other players. I know if Beardy McBeard was to annoy me I would shave him in his sleep. There goes all the specialization on the "exotic" weapon.
Sounds like something a devious little halfling rogue would do for revenge, or humor. The halfling wouldnt even need to be a rogue. LOL

[MuslixtheMighty]

So, who would be the rivals of the McBeard clan? The clean shaven elves, too obvious. How about orcs that grow out their hair and attach flails, as earlier said, so you can have the "Ball Busters".

[boulet]

I'd imagine a horde of Edward Scissorhands running after the poor dwarves.

[nijineko]

The problem with this character is other players. I know if Beardy McBeard was to annoy me I would shave him in his sleep. There goes all the specialization on the "exotic" weapon.

unless he takes my advice about the warshaper, then he'll be able to regrow the hair whenever....

[Webhead]

might i suggest the lasher prestige class? specializes in the whip and whip-dagger, gets all sorts of useful abilities with them. such as when using the whip (not whip-dagger) they can grasp and snag items with the whip... in your case, beard. ^^...

Yep. We had a Lasher in one of our previous D&D campaigns and he was quite nasty. It would probably be a good choice for Beardy, all things considered...


...likewise if you could get the alter self ability somehow (via spell, power, or item) then you could change the length of your beard for those extra long reach attacks, and for swinging indy-jones-style off of things. warshaper would be perfect, if you can qualify for it. ^^ adds 5' of reach at will...

Indeed. Anything to make his hair more "prehensile". I recall there was a spell in Complete Arcane that had to do with animating a scarf to make it attack. I suppose one could modify that for a beard. :)


...take a few ranks in heal for the accupressure techniques... after all, can't have one getting a crick in the neck, oh no.

Hmmm...


The problem with this character is other players. I know if Beardy McBeard was to annoy me I would shave him in his sleep. There goes all the specialization on the "exotic" weapon.

True, but why would the party ever want to do that? Between his beard-fighting and Bardic music, he ought to prove most valuable! ;)

Actually, I think the primary obstacle would be the DM...of the "no way in hell" variety. :)


unless he takes my advice about the warshaper, then he'll be able to regrow the hair whenever....

Interesting. Tell me more...

[nijineko]

may i suggest you take a page from the "Glorytongue's (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/wn/20020925a)" book. She being an acquisitive dragon made a power that enabled her to extend her tongue to extreme lengths, such that she could be outside of a house and reach inside to acquire the gems she desired. The ability also equiped the apendage with grasping capability and a visual sensory organ.

some slight modifications to the parameters of the power should enable it to function for your beard instead. ^^

[Webhead]

may i suggest you take a page from the "Glorytongue's (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/wn/20020925a)" book. She being an acquisitive dragon made a power that enabled her to extend her tongue to extreme lengths, such that she could be outside of a house and reach inside to acquire the gems she desired. The ability also equiped the apendage with grasping capability and a visual sensory organ.

some slight modifications to the parameters of the power should enable it to function for your beard instead. ^^

That may be going a little too far. The mental image of an eye on the end of his beard is just unsettling...:eek:

[nijineko]

Interesting. Tell me more...

a warshaper of sufficient level is able to regenerate themselves. and able to rearrange internal organs to boot.

regrowing hair? pheh. trivial.



That may be going a little too far. The mental image of an eye on the end of his beard is just unsettling...:eek:

fun for the horror settings however. ^^

[Grumpy Old Man]

Beard blade if you can make it work might be enhanced if you go back to the hairy balls idea. Long pigtails with large fluffy ends would make perfect distracting devices making the chance of your opponent to duck your blade attack less. Not to mention the mischief you could do with them in a crowded inn if you had a mind to cause a ruckus between a serving wench and a hapless party member. Stick a fish hook inside the fluffy ball and you can do a little fishing while being rowed in a boat. Leave the hook in the hairball for an auxiliary weapon. Man there could be a ton of fun with this.

[Arch Lich Thoth-Amon]

This is turning into one of the more odd... and memorable threads on this site. I just keep checking back, not being able to help myself. LOL

[nijineko]

as long as it's a light weapon, it could be tied into a beard or ponytail, right? think, dervish prestige, for whom scimitars are light weapons.... now that would make for some serious dreads, right?