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View Full Version : The most amusing D&D argument you've ever be present for.



Law Dog
07-06-2008, 10:04 PM
I tend to reminisce a lot. Seen a lot of stupid stuff come around the gaming table in three decades. This one was 2nd edition D&D specific. This was a group in Lakewood, CA that I friend and I played with for about a month before deciding it wasn't for us.

One player that grated on us to no end we nicknamed Bucky as he and I shared the same first name (along with the GM and another player). We never called him Bucky except among ourselves. He looked like Buck Owens (from Hee Haw) except he had a set of "Bundy Yellow" buck teeth, too.

Anyway, during a break, he was talking to another player about how he wanted to find a tome that would raise one of his stats from 18 to 19 (I forget which stat and which manual, but I think it was Dex).

I've got a pretty good memory and had remembered reading a Sage Advice column in Dragon Magazine which cited that the tomes and manuals were strong enough magic to do this, so I casually piped up with that bit of information. I also pointed out that of course the GM could do whatever he or she wanted, so it was really a moot point. These guys were hack and slash powergamers anyway, so I figured that they wouldn't care anyway. Bucky got really irate and wanted to know where I got the information and I reiterated that it was from Dragon and I certainly didn't remember what issue. He wouldn't let the issue go and when I reminded him that it was really up to a GM anyway, he said "We play by the rules here." I just snickered at him which seemed to make him more irate as he babled away for another few minutes. I guess I just was coming from a different time when we didn't let rules get in the way of a fun game.

Anybody else seen anybody carry on with silly nonsense at the gaming table like this?

tesral
07-06-2008, 10:21 PM
Yea, the Rules Pharisees. I see them often, usually about younger gamers, or Munchkins covering as rules Pharisees. The latter type talk the rules, the better to break them. The former actually believe the rules are some sacred writ to be followed even if dirt stupid.

agoraderek
07-06-2008, 10:29 PM
rules lawyers, can't live with them, can't feed them to the bearded dragon (haven't perfected "polymorph rules lawyer to cricket" yet...).

yeah, most arguments at the table tend to be rules lawyer petitions. i have a pointy finger and a door. problem solved...

Webhead
07-07-2008, 11:03 AM
While the following arguement actually comes from a Mutants & Masterminds game, I have one very memorable one from a player in our group who was also in our D&D game that was running at the same time and is very indicative of that player's overall presence in any game we played.

For his third character of the super hero campaign, the player had made a juvenile, amnesiac mentalist (he had telepathy, telekinesis and mind control powers). He had taken an "Amnesia" flaw for his character but constantly attempted to use it to justify his (bad) actions. He would argue that because he had amnesia, he had no sense of personal morals or ethics and was thus able to do whatever he wanted without remorse.

Things got really bad when he decided that he wanted to spend experience points to develop a new power, one that would reduce his enemies' ability to resist his mind control. I told him that he couldn't develop such a power so quickly and thus couldn't buy the power yet. He argued the point for a few minutes, but eventually had another idea. The party knew another group of tech-oriented heroes, so his character approached them and asked if they would build him a device that would simulate the power that he wanted. These heroes knew about his character's troubling behavior and didn't trust him to use such a device responsibly, so they refused. This really got him miffed. So he devises a third, desperate plan. He informs me that he is going to go looking for tech-oriented villains and try to talk one of them into building the device for him. He further explained that if the villain refused to build it, he would simply use mind control to force the villain to do it and then wipe his mind afterward so that he would have no memory of the incident.

The other players and I had had quite enough by this point and the PCs became committed to trying to get his character to resign himself to psychological treatment as he was clearly mentally unstable. Arguement ensued with the player proclaiming that we were "trying to tell him how to role play his character". I ended the campaign shortly thereafter for the sake of sanity and because several other players told me that they would likely stop coming if things continued as they were.

This same player argued at length with the DM in our D&D game over the purchase of an Arrow of Dragonslaying. By that point in the campaign, money was really no object to us, but the player said he didn't want to "waste his money" on the arrow if we weren't sure that we were going to fight a dragon in the future. Obviously the DM wasn't going to say "yes, you will fight a dragon three sessions from now" or anything of the sort which was clearly the answer the player wanted. After about 30 mintues of debate, he finally resigned himself to spending the meager coin to buy the arrow.

Needless to say, after that whole debacle, the DM felt compelled to make sure that we got to fight a few dragons...and we did. He got to use his arrow on a slightly younger dragon and promptly complained that he probably could have killed that dragon just as easily without it, and that he should have just saved his gold for something else. :rolleyes:

tesral
07-07-2008, 12:37 PM
rules lawyers, can't live with them, can't feed them to the bearded dragon (haven't perfected "polymorph rules lawyer to cricket" yet...).


Yea Jack Chick. I've been playing 32 years, when do I get my real spells!?

fmitchell
07-07-2008, 01:18 PM
Yea Jack Chick. I've been playing 32 years, when do I get my real spells!?

Heck, when do I get a hot middle-aged woman as my Dungeon Master?

Law Dog
07-07-2008, 07:10 PM
Heck, when do I get a hot middle-aged woman as my Dungeon Master?

Dungeon Milf? :biggrin:

Law Dog
07-07-2008, 07:15 PM
He informs me that he is going to go looking for tech-oriented villains and try to talk one of them into building the device for him. He further explained that if the villain refused to build it, he would simply use mind control to force the villain to do it and then wipe his mind afterward so that he would have no memory of the incident.




Be real amusing if the heroes tipped of the villain ahead of time and the villain not only had time to build a power jammer, but also lobotomized the hero.

Webhead
07-07-2008, 11:40 PM
Be real amusing if the heroes tipped of the villain ahead of time and the villain not only had time to build a power jammer, but also lobotomized the hero.

Yeah, that was pretty much the only conceivable end to that campaign. He was clearly more villainous than heroic and the PCs were feeling that it was becoming their responsibility to either rehabilitate him (which he wasn't going for) or take him out before he became a danger to others. I can't say that I blame them...:rolleyes:

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
07-08-2008, 12:28 AM
Not sure if this counts, but being in martial arts for over 20 years has given me some knowledge on certain weapons... weapons i am adept with. So, one day while playing, i disagreed with the DM on a ruling stating why what he ruled was improbable, to say the least. I then grabbed my sword, and grabbed a fellow player and showed the DM exactly why what he ruled couldnt have happened. When seeing the maneuver first hand, he agreed. In fact he stated, in the near 30 years he's been playing DnD, he was never given such a visually effective argument. In the end, my character lived to...er...um... die another day. But hey, Bards wrote songs about him... well, if there were any witnesses. It was heroic though. Damn high level TPK's! LOL

Thoth-Amon

tesral
07-08-2008, 12:35 AM
I then grabbed my sword, and grabbed a fellow player and showed the DM exactly why what he ruled couldnt have happened.
Thoth-Amon

I spent a half hour tossing weapons on the kitchen scale once, in front of the younger players that thought the book had the weights right.

Educational to say the least.

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
07-08-2008, 12:55 AM
I spent a half hour tossing weapons on the kitchen scale once, in front of the younger players that thought the book had the weights right.

Educational to say the least.
I'd love to play in one of your campaigns. It be a blast.

Thoth-Amon

tesral
07-08-2008, 01:16 AM
I'd love to play in one of your campaigns. It be a blast.

Thoth-Amon

Darn the distance, darn it to Heck.

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
07-08-2008, 01:33 AM
Maybe we'll get lucky and teleportation machines will be released to the puplic. Who knows what else Tesla discovered before his death.

Thoth-Amon

tesral
07-08-2008, 02:10 AM
Maybe we'll get lucky and teleportation machines will be released to the puplic. Who knows what else Tesla discovered before his death.

Thoth-Amon

In my dreams dude, in my dreams. I have people all over this country I want to play with and who want to play with me. It's a real pity we all don't live in say, Luxembourg.

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
07-08-2008, 02:41 AM
In my dreams dude, in my dreams. I have people all over this country I want to play with and who want to play with me. It's a real pity we all don't live in say, Luxembourg.
Same here.

Thoth-Amon never sleeps, he enters into reverie.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is a habit." -Socrates

ryan973
07-09-2008, 09:48 AM
As a GM i have made mistakes before and at times i have don or said things on the fly but recently my players were in my dark elf campain. The decided that they needed to kill the house wizard of there house becouse he was trying to go against there suggestions to the matron mother. :mad:

Now here is the thing they were around 13th level and this guy was about 17th. they came up with a plan and attacked. the battle lastred awile and in my GM madness i forgott that a cloak of displacement only lasts for a certain amount of rounds. So we had a TPK and they were very upset becouse it was one of the better campains we have had :(

The next week they proceeded to pull out a detailed list of mistakes they thought i had made during the fight. Of couse i was able to pull the NPC sheet out and prove them wrong but that one thing was true he should not have had displacement for the last three rounds of combat. :eek:

I however refused to replay the combat and started a new campain as i had already prepared during the week. Then i let them know that i work very hard to make sure the games are fun with a mix of all the things that they like and its not an easy job to run the world as aposed to one character. :rolleyes:

What ever happened to the old school the "GM is alwase right" :cool:

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
07-09-2008, 09:52 AM
As a GM i have made mistakes before and at times i have don or said things on the fly but recently my players were in my dark elf campain. The decided that they needed to kill the house wizard of there house becouse he was trying to go against there suggestions to the matron mother. :mad:

Now here is the thing they were around 13th level and this guy was about 17th. they came up with a plan and attacked. the battle lastred awile and in my GM madness i forgott that a cloak of displacement only lasts for a certain amount of rounds. So we had a TPK and they were very upset becouse it was one of the better campains we have had :(

The next week they proceeded to pull out a detailed list of mistakes they thought i had made during the fight. Of couse i was able to pull the NPC sheet out and prove them wrong but that one thing was true he should not have had displacement for the last three rounds of combat. :eek:

I however refused to replay the combat and started a new campain as i had already prepared during the week. Then i let them know that i work very hard to make sure the games are fun with a mix of all the things that they like and its not an easy job to run the world as aposed to one character. :rolleyes:

What ever happened to the old school the "GM is alwase right" :cool:
I dont know. Ive seen the same thing. Seems new players dont want to be consequenced for their mistakes. Also, i would of loved to been a fly on the wall for the Dark Elf session(I'm a Dark Elf Fan). Sounded like a great campaign.

Thoth-Amon

Webhead
07-09-2008, 11:05 AM
What ever happened to the old school the "GM is alwase right" :cool:

It's still there for some players. For many others though, the saying has mutated into something more closely resembling:

"The GM is always right...unless you argue long enough to make him change his mind."

I'm fortunate to have good players though, who give me little grief about my rules-calls.

Tomcat1066
07-09-2008, 11:21 AM
The only time I'll ever call a GM on a call is one of inconsistency, and even then, I'll usually accept them telling me there is indeed a difference. The DM is essentially God of the D&D world. Even the various dieties dance at his whim.

I generally find that it's best not to tick off any supreme being, even if it's only in a fictional setting ;)

ryan973
07-09-2008, 03:23 PM
Our most resent dissent into chaos came when one of the players wanted to make the supreme sacrifrice by placing his bag of holding into his portable hole, in order to get rid of himself and the demon that was overpowering them. :D

The argument came becouse he wanted to draw out his portable whole then his bag of holding then put one into the other. :eek:

I let him draw as part of a move action and then i said he could sacrifice his standard action to get out the bag. Decent began becouse they did not think he had to retreve the bag they figured it just hangs from his belt. so shoving something into it should just be a move action and they should not have to retreave it. :confused:

I explained that its not a hewards handy haversack so that it would have to be opened and such and was welcomed by RABBLE, rabble rabble rabble. I gave in before they got out the brooms. :mad:

I forgot though that the character in question was grappled at the time wich would have limited him anyway but hey i wont let them do go backs so i am not gonna do it back. :cool:

damn i love these little face things can i use them all the time?

ryan973
07-09-2008, 03:34 PM
I dont know. Ive seen the same thing. Seems new players dont want to be consequenced for their mistakes. Also, i would of loved to been a fly on the wall for the Dark Elf session(I'm a Dark Elf Fan). Sounded like a great campaign.

Thoth-Amon


It was alot of fun and i utilized alot of online sources for houses and such as well as some of the novels for NPCs. Doughter of the drow was a big help.

I like a good evil campain now and then but i found it completly diffrent in a dark elf campain frankly i found that when everyone is evil then no one is. It became much less about how wrong soemthing they did and more about wether they got cought and if cought what are the consiquences.

The party concisted of a
Female cleric of Lolth- My basic hack and slash guy who likes to kill crap picked this one it actiually fit.

A male hexblade- He had awsome stats and started as a hexblade but role played himself into the role of paladin. Normally i would never let a male be a paladin of lolth but this guy was loyal as hell to the clerics and the tennents of lolth. he would not even harm a female drow unless told to do so by a female of higher standing.

A warlock- this was a great character but he was killed by the Hexblade as he was his younger brother and the Hexblade wanted him gone before he got the more powerful invocation.

An Assasin- I love that class its just so scary to never know who they may go after when they think they can.

And a wizard- Never had a chance he was not high enouph level to talk crap yet and insinuate threats to the rest of the party, In the end it was the poor fort save and a death attack by the assasin that did it for him.

Webhead
07-09-2008, 03:39 PM
Our most resent dissent into chaos came when one of the players wanted to make the supreme sacrifrice by placing his bag of holding into his portable hole, in order to get rid of himself and the demon that was overpowering them. :D

We had an incident like that once (I think I may have posted it elsewhere) but it was not intended to go down that way.

Our party was being attacked by assassins and our Cleric was one attack away from death. In the initiative order, it was our Rogue who was standing next to the Cleric and then the assassin who was determined to take the cleric down. After pondering all his options and realizing he could neither protect the Cleric nor deal enough damage to take the assassin down, the Rogue remembers that he has a Portable Hole. He asks the GM is he can draw the Hole (a move action) and throw it over the Cleric to trap him inside (a standard action). The GM decides to let him try it if he succeeds on a Dex check.

Success! Hurray, the Cleric is safe!

Then the cleric's player looks at the GM and says, "Wait a minute, what happens when you put a Bag of Holding in a Portable Hole?"

We had forgotten that he had 2 Bags of Holding full of gems and things on his person. We all smacked our foreheads and the DM's grin grew exponentially. He picked up his adventure notes and set them aside and said, "Well, I guess I won't be needing these for a while".

Good times...good times. ;)

Ramzei
07-09-2008, 07:16 PM
There was a guy in a few of our campaigns that had to have EVERYTHING. We had a cohesive group 99% of the time. Guess who was right in the middle of the fray the other 1% of the time. In the begining he would try to pull stuff that was clearly not going to be allowed. Wishing for wishes, adding ring bonuses to saves, using the fighter Con bonus on his caster and things of that nature. Who knows how long these things were going on until one of us or the GM would catch him. As he began to learn the rules his antics became more devious. He would frequently come over early or pull the GM aside for private consultations. Finally, most of us were fed up with him as was the GM.
We found the Codex of the Infinite Planes one night. As luck would have it (and he generally had a lot of luck) he won the roll to pick first. That night as I was leaving I mentioned to the GM that he should be prepared for a long, exhaustive, barely plausible way for the entire book to be read. The GM chuckled and said "I already know what is going to happen." I took that to mean he knew it was coming.
To this day I do not know what went on behind the closed doors. But I do know that the session started with the GM saying "You cannot find Kyth anywhere, his hirelings have tried all forms of contact, and a wish to no avail." I smiled slightly as the realization hit that the GM already knew what was going to happen. ;)

tesral
07-09-2008, 09:48 PM
Nom Nom Nom!