Your Funniest Pen & Paper Games moments...

[Fsuphilosophy09]

So.. everyone has had to have had them a moment in a game where everyone just had to stop and laugh hysterically.. whether it was really funny or just mildly funny post it up i will start

The game: DnD3.5e
The situation: My rogue in a dungeon finds a rod of wonder... interestingly No one in the party can identify it and my rogue was literally to broke to get it identified for him (much to proud as well) so i did what any self respecting rogue does when theres a magic item that cannot be identified use it often and try to guess what it must be... antics ensued.. First use in the dungeon casted darkness the party had to feel their way out of the room we were in. Second use while picking someones pocket in an in i attempt to cast darkness and instead grow grass in the inn and get caught pick pocketing. Third use point it at a party member and turn myself green. Fourth and inevitably final use I was used it again and launched a fireball at 2 of my group members. :D

[PhishStyx]

My Shadowrun group at the time was pretty large (about 20 players), and this one night we had a new guy. I don't remember why, but the GM decided he didn't like the guy, who was sitting literally next to him.

So 20 of us are prowling around the mid-section of this skyscraper in Hawaii (some of you may remember the name of the adventure), and naturally, we didn't stay under the business' security for long. So we're on this one floor, and the elevator opens with a ding. The GM asks, "Who was left guarding the elevator?" and the GM said later it was one of the funniest things he'd ever seen 19 heads turn in unison toward the back wall, leaving the newbie shouting, "Oh OH Me! ME!"

5 minutes later, the new guy's character was dead and he was going home. We never saw him again.

[Moritz]

D&D3.5, 4 years ago.

The party of adventurers were wandering through a series of caverns when they came upon a bivouac of orcs in an expansive cave. To get out of the caverns, they would have to pass through the encampment. One of the party yelled, "BEHOLDER!" and further intoned that there was a beholder pursuing them from the caverns. The orcs panicked and ran out of the cave in fear of a beholder attack. Thus allowing the party to escape.

[Fsuphilosophy09]

HAHA those are both rather great... was the person screaming beholder forced to do a bluff check?

[Moritz]

Nah, they were a bunch of moronic orcs and there were like 4 of the party members screaming it. So if anything, it would have /supported/ the original roll. Plus, I wasn't going to ruin the humor in it.

[Fsuphilosophy09]

hmm awesome i love it when GM's allow for creative solutions to problems other than the traditional kill everything move...

[jade von delioch]

i would have to say it was when i played one of the NPC parts for the GM in shadowrun. The character was a young coyote shaman, about 16, who had no manners, needed Ritalin, and had a perverted mind. he was hitting on one of the female player character (who was played by a guy). the NPC just couldn't get a clue that the character didn't like him or want sex with him. the scene got so bad that the player had to leave the table from laughing and even the GM had to stop to get himself under control..

[Fsuphilosophy09]

hehe flawed npc's almost always lead to hilarity

[Drohem]

Hmm...so many, but...

1st AD&D and a Deck of Many Things, and I was the DM

Several interesting and funny things came out of this encounter:

1. A 1st level PC drew the Death card. We used the Good Hits and Bad Fumbles chart back then, and he scored a critical instant death on Death.

2. One player was running two PCs. One PC was an evil wizard and the other was a good ranger. There was a history between the two, and so the wizard was in disguise. The wizard drew the Eminity card and Donjon, I believe, it was the one where you were stripped of all possessions. The wizard was brought back with a wish, but was stark naked. Hence, his disguise was removed. To the player's credit, he roleplayed the senario well. His ranger immediately recognized the evil wizard and killed him. At the gates of hell, the devil (from the Eminity card) was waiting for the wizard and made a pact which returned him to life to wreck havoc and further the devil's plans. I decided that the devil had recently been slain and could not yet return the material plane, and thus needed the evil wizard's assistance for his machiations and revenge.

3. One player had a gnome thief who also drew the Donjon card. A wish was used to return him as well. However, he was naked as well. In the very next room, there was a pit trap which the gnomish thief failed to identify.

Gnome player: "No problem, Masked Marvel (his name) has a ring of Feather Fall."

Me (GM): "Umm...he's naked remember?"

Player: "Ayieeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[Fsuphilosophy09]

lol those are rather interesting in deed

[Drohem]

Another interesting one...

1st AD&D- Sinister Secret of Saltmarsh

The party confronted the evil wizard and his men escaping in the undersea caverns below via boat.

The battle was joined!

The evil wizard cast Color Spray which knocked out the PC wizard and one or two others.

Several of the PCs fought the evil wizard and killed all his henchmen. The evil wizard casted his last spell (another Color Spray) which knocked out the last standing PC.

The next round the PC wizard awakes with no spells memorized and 1 hit point left. The evil wizard was out of spells as well. There was a tense moment where the two wizards looked at each other.

They tied on initiative (yeah, we kept ties) and both picked up discarded scimitars from their fallen comrades. They charged each other and a fierce wizard sword fight ensued!

They exchanged blows for several rounds (missing each other), and finally the PC wizard scored a critical and killed the evil PC wizard.

The party awakes to find the PC wizard holding a bloody scimitar and standing over the evil wizards huffing and puffing.

[Fsuphilosophy09]

both funny and epic bonus points indeed :):D

[Drohem]

ok, this one just came to me and is funny...

RuneQuest III....homebrew campaign setting

Azereus Bearshoulders was a bear of a man (natural 18 on 3d6) and stout (he had a high CON and SIZ, don't remember exactly).

He had found a female lover that could match his stature. We were all kicking it in the local pub.

The female NPC was going to retire for the evening, but Azereus wanted her to stay up and drink with us. She refused and made some witty remark. Of course, the rest of us started talking smack to Azereus about not being able to control his woman, being whipped, etc. in a joval mood.

Azereus' player was young back then, and started talking macho nonsense to his NPC lover. She responded and it seemed that a lover's spat had errupted.

Azereus' player tried to manhandle his lover, and so she punched him in the head and knocked him unconscious.

Azereus was razzed by his companions for the rest of his adventuring career over this situation.

The mighty and great Azereus Bearshoulder's was B-slaped by his lover and knocked out cold. :o

[Moritz]

I created a NWN module based on my D&D world. Most of my D&D players played with us.

I had created a tower that had a sign in front of it. The sign read, "DO NOT ENTER, PORTAL TO PLANE OF FIRE, YOU WILL DIE."

What did the party do?

And yeah, everyone died.

[InfoStorm]

Three events come to mind, one was between players, the other was in game.

1. My Wife (then girlfriend) has join the game for the first time, and brought in her new character I had helped her make. Mike, a long time gamer asked her, "what race are you?" to which she promptly responded, "White." The dumbstruck look on his face completely cracked everyone up.

2. Playing Alternity, Living Verge. I was GM'ing at Gencon and as the game was in it's second year, wasn't huge and We remembered many of the fellow gamers. One was a hyperactive T'sa who had an obsessive love for alien artifacts. They were playing a mission and in the final room of the ship they were defending from pirates they found an alien artifact. He rolls his jump check to LEAP over three other people twice his height to get to the artifact so he could start getting PG13 with it. People from the two neighboring tables looked through the walls to see why everyone was laughing when he rolled played getting dragged away from it by ships security.

3. The first year Alternity came out, None of the players really realized the difference between metric and English mesurements. Some really big bag guys appeared from a ruined buildings some 5 meters away so two of is threw the grenades we had, not realizing that they were 20 meter radious blasts. The GM had fun spacing is out in real life to let us know how bad he had fragged ourselves.

[Fsuphilosophy09]

lol race one was clutch... self frag equally funny as it seems to happen often seems dice and grenades dont mix well...

[Drohem]

1st AD&D Dragonlance campaign
I was DM

The party had just been washed ashore from a ship wreck. They are confronted by Silvanesti Elves whom they haven't encountered yet.

There was a whole discussion/encounter from this meeting. Once it was over, one of the players said, "where are the harpies?"

Everyone looked perplexed at each other.

Me- "What harpies?"
Player- "You said there were harpies."
Me- "I never once mentioned the word harpies."
Player- "Yes you did."

Long and short- said player insisted that I mentioned there were harpies even though every other player at the table agreed that harpies weren't mentioned at all.

We laughed so hard because this player insisted to the bitter end that harpies were mentioned.

"Where are the harpies?" has been a running gag for 20 years now.

In the players defense, we were under the influence of a certain herbal medication.;)

[dormcook]

The players burst into a large band of Orcs in a dungeon and prepares to fight. The Dwarf yells out to his comrades. Now remember don't kill them all.
Leave one so we can work him over for information. He said it with such conviction the Orcs all surrendered in the hopes they would be that one. Every encounter after that began with "don't kill'em all".

In another I said the character came to a grassy knoll. One of the players sketched a picture of the humanoid covered with a growing lawn. We laughed so hard that the phrase grassy knoll made us laugh for years after that.

A inexperienced player who was running a ranger, was flying along on a magic carpet at about 20 miles an hour, quite some distance above a line of trees. He said "I am a ranger can I check for tracks". We laughed at his confusion as to why he couldn't check for traps. After that for years, a player would say " I'm a ranger can I........?"

[Xaels Greyshadow]

Gaming last year in an Eberron Campaign, our dirty DM threw in a young Black Dragon, that proceeded to rend our party nearly limb from limb as we were very low level characters. Unfortunately for us, the first party member killed also carried the triple H with a journal in it that we needed to continue on our quest. At first I had convinced everyone of the neccessity to run back to the wagon and flee, then I remembered that we had left the triple H behind with all the parties goodies and the journal. As I jumped from the wagon and began running back toward the dragon, the rest of the players looked at me like I was crazy and wondered why I told them all to flee if we wanted to live. As I fired my bow, I was shouting "We left the pack behind, don't just sit there, help me!" All in all, we injusred the dragon to a point that it made a hasty retreat after only killing one of our party and we got the pack and journal back. Where ever you are Waylon, that was a memorable experience.

[WPharolin]

My group just decided out of the blue they all wanted to play fey in the middle of this massive forest. SO... I came up with this adventure where a caravan of slaves is being lead through the forest by a Blighter (Anti-druid prestige class in the Complete Divine I think)

the PC's (who were a sylph barbarian , a satyr bard, a celestial grig rogue, a lizard folk ranger because he didn't want to be a fey) come across the wagons. There are a few slaves, a couple of guards, and the Blighter. The grig sneaks into one of the wagons takes out the Blighter in his sleep (he sneak attacks and rolls like all 6's). Mean while, the sylph and the lizard folk start freeing the slaves. The satyr is supposed to come up with a distraction for the guards. He just starts playing his pipes (all three guards fail the save) but didn't wait long enough for the other to free the slaves. So the slaves are all still chained to each other chain gang style and they were all 1st level so of the 15 that were there only two made the save. The Satyr starts dancing while he's playing then the guards and the slaves are all laughing and dancing (except for the two that made the save who are being dragged around wondering what the hell is going on). So then the Satyr decides to form a big line and he leads everyone out deep into the woods (still playing, still dancing). When he get as far as he can go he uses invisibility then moves silently back to the caravan leaving these people stranded just scratching there heads...

[caldeen]

It was one of my brothers first times running. We were moving through a dungeon, don't ask me what one it was a long time ago. The party enters a large room. A quick scan indicates no foes, always remember to look up!!

A more detailed scan indicates a sleeping chamber. Cots, blankets, and a giant flaming brass brassiere in the middle of the room. Now, everyone around the table pauses wondering what creature would wear a giant flaming brass bra, and do we want to encounter this female!

Naturally we had to take a break to let everyone, but my brother stop laughing. Then we had to explain the difference between brassiere and brazier. That was almost 20 years ago and my brother has not lived it down.

[cjdiplomat]

Another interesting one...
1st AD&D- Sinister Secret of Saltmarsh
The party confronted the evil wizard and his men escaping in the undersea caverns below via boat.
...
The party awakes to find the PC wizard holding a bloody scimitar and standing over the evil wizards huffing and puffing.

Maybe not as funny, but definately had the party going, huh? We were playing 2nd Ed. AD&D with a party of 5 and were being attacked by the town guard at least ten of them and us all 2-3 level. The main fighter of the party had been mortally wounded and the mage who had exhausted all his spells was watching from the back. The thief yells to him to do something. Not knowing what else to do the mage pulls out some throwing knives he was holding for another player. Not proficient in either daggers or thrown weapons he throws them into the melee with wincing from the other players apon hearing this.

The mage managed to roll natural 20 on first two throws and kills two already wounded guards. Next throw wounds a third enough that the thief killed him with his attack. Then two more natural 20s and kills two more wounded guards. At which point everyone is looking at the guy playing the mage in astonishment. Never thrown a knife before and kills 4 out of 5 attempts.

[Fsuphilosophy09]

wow some good ones thus far keep em coming i see this thread getting quite awesome

[Drohem]

OMG! How could I forget this one:

1st AD&D- Cup of Al'Akbar module.

I was playing a Myrikhan (NG Paladin variant) and another friend was playing a Paladin of Heironeous.

We had a friend and player, whom I'll name Joe, who was shady at best. He would suddenly have characters out of no where with uber stats, magic, etc. They would level more often than others, etc. Anyway, I think you get the picture.

So, we're playing this module and he produces a character that is physically frail and has an uber magic sword that boosts his CON and a lot of other things. Basically, he had an Elric character with the sword Stormbringer in D&D. We had never seen or heard of this character before either.

In game-play his character tells the Paladins that there is a demon in his sword that gives him powers. :eek:

We promptly subdued his character. We confiscated the demonic sword. We used a Bag of Holding and Portal Hole and destroyed the demonic sword in front of his character. The whole time we are saying something to the effect of "we're saving your soul brother."

Needless to say, the player was very upset with us. He was visablly shaking and extremely angry. He stopped coming around for several weeks.

The look on his face was priceless as we explained to the DM what the Paladins were doing, and that we did it in front of his character. Not to mention that our in-game speak was Paladin-esk in that we geniunely we saving his soul from demonic possession. Good Times!

[Fsuphilosophy09]

hahahahaha best shady character removal i have heard to date...

[Drohem]

hahahahaha best shady character removal i have heard to date...


hehe...yeah, it was classic. In game, the Paladins were saying stuff like, "see we care about your soul brother; that's why we're willing to sacrifice these magic items. No possession is worth your soul. Let go of the sword brother, etc."

Of course, our in-game speak was interspersed with bouts of laughter from everyone at the table; except for 'Joe.'

[Farcaster]

Scene 1: The party has tracked down a dragon's lair from which they must obtain a relic hidden in its horde. They, unfortunately, have no idea of what kind of dragon it is. When the party at last arrives in the lair, the first question the party wizard asks is, "What color is it?" This group of players had never encountered any of the alternate dragon types before, so he firmly expected one of the chromatic types. Alas, it was a deep dragon, so when I answered the question, the player and character both stand completely stunned with one word on their lips, "Purple?" as everyone else dives out of the way of its breath weapon. It was pure greatness.

Scene 2: The party is adventuring in Myth Drannor, and one of the encounters has become very dire. The group is facing a banshee and four Crystalline Golems. Unfortunately, in the very first round, the rogue (Mr. Will-Save himself) goes down. The party had recently acquired an extremely potent Staff of True Resurrection, that can instantly resurrect a fallen comrade in battle, but leaves the character helpless for one round as they recover. Even though the rogue is currently directly at the feet of one of the golems, the cleric resurrects him where he lay. On the Crystal Golem's turn, it peforms a coup-de-grace on the helpless rogue, and kills him instantly. But, what does the cleric decide to do?

The next round, he raises him again, in the exact same spot! So, the golem, once again coup-de-graces him, and he goes down for the count. Wising up, the cleric drags the rogue away from the fray to an area where he won't be threatened. He resurrects him just in time for the banshee's next wail. Chalk up three deaths in one combat for the rogue, who's player becomes so frustrated he throws his dice in a fit of rage and goes on a tirade for the next 15 minutes while the rest of the group is in stitches, they're laughing so hard.

[Fsuphilosophy09]

wow thats good! holy dice... 3 deaths ouch

[Moritz]

D&D3.5 - About 5 years ago.

Our group had just adopted a new player, so he wasn't yet used to us. He was playing a paladin and had been under attack from one of the older players for weeks about not playing the paladin correctly.

On one particular night, the paladin's player got to the point where he could take it no longer. There was a zombie walking down the middle of the road and instead of attacking it, he hesitated. The older player asked him why he was doing it and the paladin's player flipped out.

The argument ensued. And when the paladin's player tried to stand, he found himself stuck to the plastic chair, which caused him to fall backwards, breaking off the back legs and crashing into the floor. There was silence among the group. And for the next agonizing 5 minutes, the paladin's player packed up his stuff and left the game never to be seen again.

[Drohem]

I think that situation is sad rather than funny.

[Fsuphilosophy09]

indeed rather sad

[Anaesthesia]

A couple weeks in to my first D&D game, our party (we were pirates :D ) was going through this corridor in a dungeon. Our Captain (the player was 13 at the time), all of a sudden noticed a lit torch on the wall. Decides that he wants to stick his hand into the flame part of the torch. He fails his save, and his hand burnt off (from what I remember, it was also a torch that was trapped). The rest of us are looking at him like he's an idiot, while he's asking the DM if he can stick his other hand in to rescue the hand that fell off. I finally broke the silence, when the DM didn't answer him, and said "So...what is it that I roll to hit him in the head???" When we get back to the ship he rolls a craft(carpentry), one handed, and on the first try, the nice way to say it is that he made a "toy," the second try he did manage(somehow) to make a hook. Several weeks following this, I call muntiny on the Captain.

In a side adventure of the pirate campaign, a half-celestial cleric and I (a bard) go investigate a guild. I get us into the guild by using diplomacy, and we get escorted in by the guard. This proceeds as follows:

The cleric says "I'm going to fly,"
Dm says "ok you get hit on the head by the celing."
Me-"I hit him on the leg and motion to him to *not* to fly"
cleric says "We're INSIDE someplace???"
Me-"He did say we got escorted inside the guild, stupid"
cleric-"oh"

Another one I remember, in a different campaign some of the same characters were the same as in the pirate campaign (including mine). We were escorting a caravan for a NPC friend of the party. I'm up front with the ranger and we see a rather large (I can't remeber exactly the size of it, but..)un-dead dragon in front of us. I cast grease spell on the general ground that the dragon is standing on. The ranger has favored enemy dragon, so is attempting to trip attack the dragon. First couple of tries, she misses. The druid(Played by the half-celestial player above) sends his animal companion, a cheetah, to attack the dragon. Dragon crushes cheetah. Druid says "oh...I didn't think it would do that..." Following that, our warmage (played by the kid who was the captain, in the above story), hid in one of the wagons, and the ranger manages to fell the dragon. Druid throws some of those acorn fire things on the dragon, and the dragon bursts into flames. The ranger and I are estatic that we were basically the only ones that actually did anything, and not to gloat I got 200 additional xp for using a cantrip. After the DM says the bit about addtional XP, the druid says, "So..can I reincarnate the cheetah?"

Another campaign where the captain/warmage of the previous stories DM'd, and the druid was playing a wizard (I was playing a cleric, the ranger from the previous story was playing a ranger, the Dm of the 2 previous campaigns was a knight). We go thru this abandoned temple and in one of the rooms is an assasin vine. Before the ranger gets to tell the wizard "oh wait it's an assasin vine," the wizard walks up to the vine and gets killed on the spot. (Mind you the party level was 3, and there was no way that we could revive the wizard-myself doing it or paying for it) After we sufficiently kill the vine, we decide to pick berries off the vine, to resell to make wine. The ranger makes a comment like "oh, I can plant some seeds from the berries," so I said "Well, that's fine, just don't get too attached to them."

[Moritz]

Oh, another Orc story that I was reminded of this past weekend.

D&D, about 5 years ago.

The party were originally in caverns that ended up coming out into an underground part of a castle. They got to the upper levels and opened this door to encounter 40 or so orcs along with other humanoid races who were all having a meal.

Knowing they could not defeat the enemy, the party quickly shut the door and tried not to pee their pants.

Seconds later, the door was open and there was an orc food server there who asked, "You want food?" and invited the party to have a meal. The party wasn't going to say no and raise suspicion, so they sat with the orcs and other evil races.

Turns out, the situation was another bivouac of an orc/evil race army and the party were assumed to be part of the evil. They got out of their as cautiously as they could.

[Fsuphilosophy09]

wow.. that was awesome... I wonder if the DM intended that or merely worked it in somehow? that was pretty cool

[Moritz]

Oh, didn't mention, I was the DM. And yeah, I like color in my worlds. It's displaying a dynamic of the world that is beyond just fighting and treasure getting.

Orcs are people too. :)

[rabkala]

So many of the stories I think of, seem to be 'you had to be there to fully get it' type moments. I am not sure if this is one of them, but I laugh when I think about it. Tell me what you think.

In an advanced D&D game in 1984/5ish, several new players wanted to join our group. We already had 9 players who lived on the block and were very familiar with each other. Finally the DM said they could join on a trial basis since they were friends of current players.

The DM set up rows of TV tables with folding chairs in the basement in an attempt to better fit 12 players. Since the DM rolled the only set of dice and posted large maps behind his desk, it worked relatively well. The basement play area was a long narrow room with a garish print carpet that could only have been a bad 70's mistake. Three walls were covered with dark wood paneling half way up and the top portion of the walls were hanging bookcases.

The new players started characters 1 level behind the current players levels. Since we lacked nothing, they started 2 more fighters and a wizard.

The player of the wizard sat just behind and to the left of me. He was a cocky sort, who had a remark for everything. The DM would throw tennis balls at players who were disruptive or talk out of turn. This wiry kid seemed to be able to avoid even the truest of shots somehow, which just made him even worse.

The wizard was always hiding or far from any action. On the occasions when he would be needed or wanted, he was always down the hall or in a different room. When I called him on this, he responded with insults about my character. This continued for several weeks. His defense was that he was just role-playing his wizards contempt for my paladin.

One day we began playing, and his insults were definitely directed at me. I told him that his continued abuse would not be tolerated. He just got worse. The DM became irritated and threw two tennis balls, but again the kid dodged like a champ. I warned him, that his next insult would result in him getting hurt.

We continued playing and three minutes later, he let out a string of colorfully worded insults that would make a sailor proud. I promptly stood and walked back to him. The resulting punch catapulted the player across the room into a bookcase. The bookcase emptied its contents upon the players head like a bad Looney Toon cartoon. He laid on the ground for a few minutes with a dumbfounded look upon his face.
Finally, he said, "What was that for?"
I replied, "Sorry, I was just role-playing."

The DM gave me a 1000 exp role playing reward at the end of the night. The wizard didn't return for any more games for some reason.

P.S.

Violence is Never the answer, kids. If you feel like acting out, go to
http://NATIONALSAVE.ORG (http://nationalsave.org/) or any other youth violence prevention source for information on how to find an alternative to violence.

:)

[Farcaster]

I promptly stood and walked back to him. The resulting punch catapulted the player across the room into a bookcase...

The DM gave me a 1000 exp role playing reward at the end of the night. The wizard didn't return for any more games for some reason.

That's not called a roleplaying reward. That's combat XP. :p

Of course, if a player threw a punch at another player in my game, that would be the last time he attended as well. But, it was 1984, I'll cut you some slack. :cool:

[Digital Arcanist]

Yeah all the cool kids were into violence and blow in 1984 and we all know the coolest kids played D&D in 1984......

I've seen some violence in my 15 years of gaming with one instance of "role-playing" erupting into a full-fledged fist-fight.

[rabkala]

Yeah all the cool kids were into violence and blow in 1984 and we all know the coolest kids played D&D in 1984......

I've seen some violence in my 15 years of gaming with one instance of "role-playing" erupting into a full-fledged fist-fight.
Not too much blow due to the popularity of ice. I have had more fights than most in the UFC.

[vic_kidd]

2nd Editon, somewhere in the Realms, 20th level PC's.....my buddy was running an Anti-Paladin...I was running a Monk. The Anti-Paladin was terrorizing the party and my Monk was following the party from a distance, I finally tired of the torture that he was dealing the other players. So I came down off this hill I was sitting on and told the Anti-Paladin to stop....he took a swing at me and missed. I hit all 4 times...the result...1 dead Anti-Paladin...the look on his face was one of shack and awe. Few weeks later when we took a break we were outside batting around an empty gallon jug...my ex brother in law came straight down on this jug (with the cap on) with a baseball bat....you guessed it....the jug threw that bat right back up into his forehead and planted him on his butt....he looked at us with the "DID YOU SEE THAT" look.

[Fsuphilosophy09]

ok.. funny dnd story mixed with a life funny story haha i like

[PhillyLameSauce]

OKay, I have wo stories, one is a D&D 3.5 and the other is a Warhammer 40k story.

A few of you were talking about actual fighting over role-playing a few threads back. Interstingly enough, every so often we would resolve role-playing "character conflict" by wrestling-grappling-what have you behind my DM's house. While I was still in the Marines, my group consisted mostly of Navy/Marine personell and their families. One time, It was myself and three Navy friends, one being the Dm, and while our Dm was converting stories from 2nd ed into 3.5, me (who's character was a Drow Monk) and a person we'll refer to as "Billy" (who played a Orc Fighter) decided to role-play while we were waiting. we starting slinging insults back and forth about the others respective career choice and race, and eventually "Billy" (in-character) said "you want to take this outside?"
My drow: "Fighting doesn't solve anything. But if getting your ass kicked will make you feel better, then I'm obligated to do so."
So we go out side, and the both of us having a wrestling background, begin play-wrestling. We're at it for three minutes when our DM comes out and asks whats going on. The other guy there filled him in, and he made us stop and restart, this time making us roll out D20 for iniative, making garpple checks, opposed grapple checks, damage, etc. eventually my drow won out, but the whole transition from pen and paper to LARPing accidentaly was somethign we chuckled about for many gaming sessions. 'You want to take this outside?" was practically a staple of all out games.

The second is shorter, and more heart-breaking. Anyone familiar with Warhammer 40k will be able to relate. I play a Chaos Marine army called Iron Warriors, and since they're siege specialists, they can have a large artillery piece called a Basilisk, which most Chaos factions cant have. I was facing my friends Imperial Guard army, which is decidedly weaker than mine. however, crappy 'to hit' and 'to wound' rolls quickly cut down my forces until I had only the Basilisk, a Dreadnought (think mech-warrior type machine) and a squad of Marines using the Dread for cover. My plan was working, I was closing in to his army, since he really had nothing that could harm my Dread. I chanced a shot with my Basilisk to weaken his line, except my scatter roll (a roll that decides whether your on target or get 'blown off course') made my shot land directly on top of my own Dread. When I rolled for damage, it exploded, sending shrapnel into my marines and killing all but one, thanks to failed armor saves. On his turn, he promptly ran over my last remaining marine and destroyed my Bassie, prompting me to cry like a little school girl for nights to come.

The End.

[BulletSponge]

Greatest game of my IGs history. Then we decided to settle it (as we decided to settle many things) with a game of Dawn of War. That never went well for you either =P




....until you decided to play right and drop oblits behind my guard line then smash my poor guardsmen into piles of fleshy goop.....sigh....

[PhillyLameSauce]

Ah yes....household arguments settled by 40k fights...i remeber those days...

It took me a while to figure out that even though your guardsmen had horrible accuracy and armor, there were still 10 of them to my 1 space marine...but boy, do they suck in close combat or what, huh?

:P

By the way, Sponge, hows that Tau army coming? They combat ready yet? lol

[BulletSponge]

Half are stuck in the vicious loop of forming, and the rest are on camp guard. I've dubbed them the "Geiger tigers" for they won't be leaving that heck hole for a long time.

[Mulsiphix]

I had a best friend in High School, named Matt, that just was very socially awkward. After meeting his parents it became clear why but needless to say my friend and his older brother Gabe lived a VERY sheltered life. My friends brother and my friends church pal Paul were the only people Matt ever played with. Gabe had a HUGE ego and rarely played with Matt anymore because Matt offered no challenge. Matt had tried playing with other people from church and school but nobody stayed around too long because Matt ALWAYS won.

When Matt introduced me to the game I immediately took to it. I was very competitive and I talked a lot of smack as Matt beat me down the first few games. Then I won a game. Matt and Paul were shocked and demanded a rematch. I beat him again and his friend Paul. The following week I played against both Matt and Paul as a team (I was given extra Mechs so it was fair) and I beat them twice. The following week Gabe sat in and watched me wipe the floor with Matt and Paul and a new friend I had brought to the game. Gabe came out of retirement to show up his brother and to humilate me. He never really liked me as I was far to comical and he was extremely serious about everything.

Our first battle was a free for all in which most of the game was fought between Matt and Gabe while Paul and I fought each other. When I finished with Paul, Gabe had just finished killing Matt, and Gabe was HEAVILY damaged. I killed him with one shot to the head. He boasted that it was luck, as I had rolled 2D6 and gotten a 12 to pull off that shot. The next week Paul wasn't around to play.

This game was quite different. Apparently Gabe and Matt and decided to team up before the game to teach me a lesson. One thing they both hated about the way I played was I never took any given situation to seriously. They were the super serious type, every action must be the most efficient and logical choice possible, and both had years worth of experience to inflate their ego's. We all could spend 100 Tons on whatever we liked. Matt had one medium mech and two light mechs; Gabe had two medium mechs and a light mech, and I had one Assault mech.

Assault mechs are notoriously slow and are practically sitting targets. Their only advantage is the ridiculous amount of firepower that they wield. Both Matt and Gabe thought choosing a single Assault mech was the most foolish choice a player could make. Their mechs had speed, many options for offense/defence, and had a much greater diversity of weapons. The drawback to smaller mechs is their lack of armor and they must get into close range before they can do any significant damage. My walking fortress could attack them long before they got into range to use their weapons. This was the main advantage I continued to cite but neither could see the value of my reasoning.

During the very first turn of the game both of them moved on my mech but finished their movement phase with their mechs hidden by mountains. I couldn't fire on a single target. I choose to hide in a thick forest hex to make my mech that much harder to hit. By the third turn they had my mech surrounded and there was finally line of sight for all three players. All six mechs attacked me but only two mechs actually hit me. The forest I was in made it very difficult to land a hit on me given the fact that both players had run that turn. Their To-Hit numbers were very large. My mech took virtually no damage. Then it was my turn to attack.

I got a head shot on one of Gabe's mechs which destroyed it. I blew the leg off of one of Matts mechs which caused it to fall to the ground where I finish it off with my Gauss Rifle. I picked up the blown off leg and attacked one of Gabe's mechs that was standing right next to me, knocking it to the ground. The next turn both players retreated to safety, all of their mechs having taken damage, and each player having lost one mech. Gabe failed his roll when he attempted to have his knocked down mech stand up. I set the forest on fire with my flamer and walked to safety. Two turns later Gabe's mech's heat raised high enough that it caused the ammo stored in the left side of his torso to explode. That mech was dead now too.

After retreating from their battle with me, Gabe's medium mech waged a personal war with Matt's two light mechs. Gabe was actually victorious over Matt and was hardly damaged. Matt just wasn't having a good day with his rolls. I stood out in the open and waited for Gabe to eventually move into firing range. I missed him over the course of three turns. My heat was so high that I didn't fire much during those last few turns. I did however pull a tree out of the ground and when Gabe came into range I threw it at him. The tree met its target and Gabe fell over. He fell in face of a Level 3 mountain which I climbed. When his rolling finally allowed him to stand up I was able to perform a Death From Above attack. I jumped on him and he fell right back over. The damage done to his mech was heavy indeed. I planned to walk several hexes away and snipe him on the ground, drawing out the humiliation of his death.

When I was only halfway to my destination Gabe successfully stood up but due to the damage done to his leg from my Death From Above attack, he had to roll to make sure he was able to stay standing up. This roll failed and he fell over once more. The damage he took, which was almost non-existent, when falling over was enough to kill him. Matt and I laughed so hard at him. Gabe was furious and did not play with us again for a good couple of weeks. We had several rematches after that which have many more glorious moments but I think this post is long enough lol. God I love BattleTech! :D

[Fsuphilosophy09]

yes battletech can be quite fun!!! your story is awesome im chuckling


btw merry Christmas all