Suicide solution

[rabkala]

A younger member of one of my groups, still hides that he plays an RPG. Only a few of his family know where he disappears to once a week. He took a cell phone call right before the game. He started screaming at his brother on the phone for telling somebody whom called his house that he was playing D&D. His claims of being ruined by such knowledge being spread seemed overly dramatic to me who has never hid gaming.

Is the act of gaming the same as committing social suicide?
Is it like committing professional suicide?
Is it as bad as it was like in the early 80's?
Do you think RPG's are truly social games?
If D&D is the 'popular' RPG, what does that say about some of the tension between various other RPG players?
Do we commit the social suicide first and then join RPG's?
What's the solution...


Wine is fine
But whiskey's quicker
suicide is slow with liquer
Take a bottle drain your sorrows
Candied thoughts await tommorows ...

[fmitchell]

Is the act of gaming the same as committing social suicide?
Is it like committing professional suicide?
Is it as bad as it was like in the early 80's?
Do you think RPG's are truly social games?
If D&D is the 'popular' RPG, what does that say about some of the tension between various other RPG players?
Do we commit the social suicide first and then join RPG's?
What's the solution...


To a teenager, maybe D&D is social suicide. It's professional suicide only if you're in the Israeli army.

Certainly there's a stereotype of D&D players as obsessed geeks who live in their parents' basement. If you're friends will think that of you if you admit to playing D&D, you need new friends.

As for tensions between D&D players and other games ... I end up having to explain the other games I play as "like D&D, only not". Meh.

[Ed Zachary]

Being a D&Der in the Reagan 80s was bad, almost as bad as being identified as a Democrat.

[grimwell]

90% of this fear is the irrational shame in peoples heads. 10% is culture going "Look, geeks!"

Even as a child in the Reagan 80's I didn't hide that I played D&D, Battletech, or anything else. No, I don't shout out my food orders at McDonald's in Klingon, because that's not how you place an order; but I do play RPG's.

It's only a stigma if you allow it to bother you. It's really no different than a kid who has acne freaking out about everyone seeing his/her zits. OMG.

For the record, I dated regular enough in high school, every girlfriend knew I played D&D, and some of them were happy to admit that they always wanted to try it. So they got to. The other ones didn't want to play, but they didn't hold back their kisses because I gamed.

You are only as subject to as much embarrassment about this hobby as you are willing to let others hold over you. Me being a geek with no shame is the #1 reason I work in video games right now. So I'm pretty happy with it.

I'd love to talk to the kid who was ruined, show him some photos of the girls I've dated, and my beautiful wife, and then whisper in his ear how much money I make.

Geeks are more attractive than jocks when you are an adult. We make more money. =)

[Vimachipal]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0f/Nerd.jpg

[Rain_Spider_08]

I think playing pen and paper games only makes you a social pariah if you talk about it to much around people that don't game, or just too much in general.

"I mean guys it was soooo cool In the werewolf game when I was making a perception roll I got a 10 which I can roll again! I ended up rolling it like 7 times cause all the other rolls were tens! It was awesome. And those 7 successes were only with that one die! But then Jenny got no sucesses whatsoever when she was trying to dodge gunfire! It was hystarical hahahaha can you believe it?! It was so - "

"That great honey... now pass the potatoes."

Like any hobby you just shouldn't talk about it too much or around people you know don't have any interest in it whatsoever. Sometimes it's best not to share that you like pen and paper gaming with other people... like during a job interview, a company meeting, or when meeting someone of higher status for the first time cause frankly most people look down on it. I waited a long time before I told my grandfather... and even then I left D&D out of the picture due to the fact most people still think it's satanic to this day.

However I don't think just because someone games suddenly a giant "L" is branded onto their face. My friends didn't avoid me like the plague when I told them I liked to play pen and paper games or when they saw my book collection. If anything they were intrigued. But at the same time I don't drone on and on about it I leave out the stuff that I know would bore them (like telling them graphically what numbers I rolled) and I tell them bluntly what happened. "Abigail found out what badguys have been murdering the other vampires of the city." (remember kiddies when talking about games to people that don't game be sure to use language they understand or else they'll get bored quicker ;) or just think your weird.:p)

[Farcaster]

I dunno, Rain. With games out there like EverQuest, DAoC, and who can forget World of Warcraft with over four million players, I think people are more acclimated to the concept of roleplaying than ever before. These aren't tabletop games, but they have their roots in roleplaying.

[Moritz]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0f/Nerd.jpg

Is this the nerd from that Riptide TV show in 1984?

[Moritz]

Is the act of gaming the same as committing social suicide?
Is it like committing professional suicide?
Is it as bad as it was like in the early 80's?
Do you think RPG's are truly social games?
If D&D is the 'popular' RPG, what does that say about some of the tension between various other RPG players?
Do we commit the social suicide first and then join RPG's?
What's the solution...

I'm not sure I have a solution. But I am still a closet gamer. I walk quickly from my car into the comic book/gaming store avoiding detection. I do not mention that I play these games to anyone, especially in my geographic location. And I definitely do not talk about gaming (even video gaming) unless someone else brings it up, and even then it's listed as 'past tense'.

Why do I do all of this?

Because I currently live in a small town. I'm an active member of the Chamber of Commerce, about to join the Lions Club, the coach of a U8 girls soccer team (go Pink Tigers), active in other parts of my community, own a Chiropractic Practice/am a Chiropractor; and it's best that I'm not associated with things that could be seen as 'cultish' or what ever the Reagan 80's, the fundamentalist church, and Pat Roberts did for D&D. Though the 80's may be over, people still have opinions, and I really don't need negative opinions about me in this town.

In this case, it could be social/professional suicide.

[Rain_Spider_08]

I found this at another forum and I can't help but think this would make somebody laugh... especially considering the topic here. http://www.cybermoonstudios.com/8bitDandD.html

[Inquisitor Tremayne]

I had never imagined in my entire life that I would find the words "social suicide" on some RPG boards!!

Seriously.

I work in an art museum and of course with some snotty people. One such person in particular mentions social suicide in relation to the table one of their rich guests would be sitting. Since it was semi secluded from the rest of the event. This was a serious problem for them.

I just about shot myself in the head.

Now my precious forum is tainted by such horrible phrase!

It has taken me 12 years to finally be comfortable and somewhat open about playing D&D. But as far as it being "social suicide"? If someone stops being your friend because you play RPGs then they were a shi**y friend to begin with!

[grimwell]

Ding! Ding! Winner! Friends like ya for who you are.

Farcaster, WoW claims 9+ million. :P

[PhishStyx]

Can it be considered social suicide if I didn't have any friends to begin with?

More seriously, all but 1 or 2 of my friends play, and I met nearly all of them through gaming or science fiction conventions. Playing RPG's is just about the most social thing I do!

[starfalconkd]

I was pretty much an outcast when I started playing D&D. To me it was never a big deal as being popular was never a big concern of mine. These days, I have my D&D friends (or friend at the moment) and my non-D&D friends. My friends who don't play either don't really care that I do or express interest in the fact that I have created an elaborate fantasy world to play in and wish they could do that (they don't have the time).

[Farcaster]

Farcaster, WoW claims 9+ million. :P
Jesus Christo-Madre! Where will the madness end? I thought 4 million was bad enough. But, then, that figure was from a year ago when my company was toying with promotions they wanted to offer WoW players. That was the figure the business tossed out to us when they explained the size of the market.

More seriously, all but 1 or 2 of my friends play, and I met nearly all of them through gaming or science fiction conventions.

Most of my friends don't play, but my closest friends do -- the ones who are part of the inner-circle, so to speak.

[Moritz]

I've got friends that play, and I've got friends that don't. Never shall the two groups meet.

[rabkala]

I've got friends that play, and I've got friends that don't. Never shall the two groups meet.

I do understand to an extent. Most of my gaming friends just wouldn't fit in at my 'I just want to get drunk and crazy' type parties. Most of my wild friends just wouldn't get along with my D&D friends. My work friends just don't play nice with others and don't seem to get along with anybody.

I think playing pen and paper games only makes you a social pariah if you talk about it to much around people that don't game, or just too much in general.

It is important to know your audience. I still do not hide the fact that I play. I guess if somebody is going to judge me for it, I judge them unworthy of my attention. Why would I want them as a friend?

[PhishStyx]

I only talk about gaming or even science fiction if I'm asked.

When LOTR: The Two Towers, my wife and I went to dinner with an old friend and his wife. Well, our friends had just gone to see it, and I'd just finished reading the Silmarillion. So all through dinner, the two of them asked me detailed questions about the background of the movie and books ("what are the orcs, really?" etc.), so that I barely got to eat because I was constantly answering. After we left the restaurant and my wife was alone with me, she exploded angrily demanding to know why I had "monopolized the conversation with that crap" and wouldn't let her get in a word about something important.

So no, I don't talk a lot to other people.