View Full Version : One Annoying Son of a Monk

12-12-2010, 05:55 PM
I am a GM, and so I have this campain where my players right now are about 15th level. They are a unique bunch; The Half-Orc Barbarian based around using his dagger, the Gnome Bard who is notorious for playing his Weapon, the saw, as an instrument of doom, and even the Halfling Commoner "Fildo Gaggins", known for complaining about how he wants to go home, drink coffee, and eat pie. (We had some copy-right issues within the game.)

But of the four of them, the biggest pain in the ass is the human monk.

Even since we started, all of this player's feats were invested in "Fleet." As of right now, with all of the accumulative monk bonuses and feats, he can out-walk a running horse. He's just a total pain, constantly confusing Lolth's army of Drow that have come up to the surface world, and that due to the fact that some magical entity had frozen time, and the moon is stuck in dominance.

He also took two other feats: Weapon proficiency (Kukri) and Weapon Focus (Kukri). This wouldn't be so bad, if he wasn't equipped with a pair of keen vorpal kukri, so he can remove heads with a roll of 15-20, that he got from one of the three drow army commanders. The game was actually planned to end at that fight, them not winning, and it ending there. Of course, Speedy-Gonzales won, with the drow unable to hit him.

So, because of this super-fast freak of nature that can severe heads with ease, the game continues. I am not complaining; this is actually the most fun and entertaining game that I have ever GM'd for. He is almost impossible to hit, and with a ridiculously high AC, though. So why am I sharing this?

Three reasons:

-I want to hear some ideas on how to get back at this monk.

-I want your opinions on how AWESOME this guy is.

-I want you to annoy your GM's with this character if you ever get the chance, it is the biggest hemorrhoid they will ever deal with ;)

12-12-2010, 11:51 PM
i would be most interested in seeing the build. once i see the build i could probably oblige regarding points two and three.

i have a few suggestions for point one - getback.

the easiest way to hit someone of high ac is to use the aid another action. this applies to both grapple and attacks. if you have small or tiny flying creatures with a reach weapon (must be at least 5' of reach, considering the size of the creatures...) you can stack a rather large number of them in a pseudo-swarm (pseudo because swarm has specific meaning and rules in d&d) around the character. then all but one use the aid another to grapple or attack the character. the dc is about 15 iirc, and for every success the attacking/grappling character gets +2.

you can also cheat using sovereign glue to make things stick to the monk, adding weight. cursed stones of weight are great for this. eventually they will exceed their maximum weight and won't be able to run. heavy grav zones work help too.

another fun one is filling traps such as pits with whip cream. let them jump or fly and hit the wall of force halfway across and drop into the stuff. or toss something or someone they want into it. too light to swim in, can't breath it, too slippery to climb, even impedes jumping. hit them with a dispell or two to cancel flying, or even increase gravity....

if you give a gelatinous cube the celestial or fiendish template, that raises the int enough to take character levels. duplicate the load out on the monk onto a cube and watch them run from jello. ^^ you could give it the quick trait from unearthed arcana, one level of ranger with the wildshape acf still grants you fast movement like a barbarian at level one, level of barbarian, toss in fist of the forest if you can swing it for another speed boost.... you could get up to +40 in a few levels due to fast movement stacking, and that's not counting monk levels.

there are more ideas where those came from. ^^

12-13-2010, 02:23 PM
You can have them attacked by a foe with the same build. However they defeat it, you can have the foes use the same tactics.

Surely you are not targeting this guy with wimpy AC attacks? What do you think magic is for? Maximized empowered Magic Missiles away! It is not what hits you but how many times it hits you ;)

12-13-2010, 02:39 PM
There is one thing really bothering me. He's a human version of The Flash (TM), and has two OMFG weapons along with the skills/feats to use them... and you are the DM. This is YOUR fault - and now you want someone else to come in and fix your oopsies. Accept the blame - OWN the blame.

Now, that being said...

Lots of hindered movement can being him back into human ranges for movement, and spells can really help in this. By now, the party is of sufficient level to have notoriety - which will mean that the bad guys will probably know about them. This means that their abilities and weaknesses SHOULD be knowledge that the DM will have and will share with the bad guys.

He's a monk. Two words: missile fire. One more word: moats.

It doesn't matter a darn how fast he is - put a river between he and the bad guys and they can attempt to make him look like a credible imitation of a hedge-hog. Add hidden ridges cut into the ground (think freshly tilled soil at a farm) within missile range, and in mid-OMG charge to enter melee, he's stopped up cold - and possibly prone from falling.

And we haven't even touched on magic.

Wands of Magic Missile are wonderful for this. AOE spells are good as well - like a lightning bolt where you may catch him AND several others.

And an illusion-wrapped rust monster would be GREAT for those kukri!!

And don't forget - if the party has stuff - the bad guys have the same stuff. What happens if he runs into a meat-shield that has a collar that prevents vorpal attacks AND has one or TWO vorpal weapons? With his multiple attacks per round, the monk can attempt to catch his newly removed head several times before it gets dirty!!

12-14-2010, 04:50 PM
There is one thing really bothering me. He's a human version of The Flash (TM), and has two OMFG weapons along with the skills/feats to use them... and you are the DM. This is YOUR fault - and now you want someone else to come in and fix your oopsies. Accept the blame - OWN the blame.

I was going to say the same thing but then I read the part where he says he's enjoying it and it's the best time he ever had GMing so I was wondering what the problem was?

Crom on his Mountain
12-20-2010, 04:36 AM
Mordenkainen's Disjunction.

12-22-2010, 08:25 PM
@ninjineko (n@ninjineko): The whole grapple idea worked, he got attacked by a 700 pound gnome and was knocked unconsious under his fat. XD

@Malruhn: Okay, no need to get on your period, I know its my fault. I think its actually really funny how I screwed up so badly. And I am not denying the blame nor did I ever say it was not my fault,its not like I couldnt think of my own ideas, I just wanted other opinions.

@BIGKILLA: Exactly. I mean, I am the GM, its not like I have cotrol over the game or anything, if it really irritated me I would have gotten rid of them long ago. Its just a really fun campain.

12-26-2010, 04:33 PM
The way I read this the case is that you are having trouble challenging your players but how are the other players reacting to this monks super human speed/killing? Do you want to kill him?

As have already been said, magic is your friend -hit him with stuff that does not allow for a save.

Next, hit the party with monsters that are immune to being beheaded.

Can he fly? If not, attack the party from above.

Another option would be to lure the party into a confined space where his speed will count for nothing.

One of my favorites when I have to deal with a party that deals a lot of damage is the horde. Sure, let the heroes cut down a new foe with every strike -I got more.

Make the heroes fight time rather than foes. The above mentioned horde is a great way to create drama and a sense of urgency when you just cannot get through them in time.

Last, but not least: if you feel like the character is ruining your game, talk to the player about retiring the Monk.

Oh, almost forgot: Never again use vorpal weapons in your game. They are lame anyway.

12-27-2010, 07:45 PM
Okay, no need to get on your period!! Ha, ha, ha ,ha... oh darn, why can't I stop laughing!

This is your fault!!! Lov it!

Okay, no lightning bolts witch allow reflex saves he can evade. No super magic items to hopefully combat his super magic items. He will just get more super items, yeah really.

Cheat! You cheated the other players by creating this monster, so cheat him to bring the game back into balance. Divine intervention! You have been judged and are found wanting... fight your God. If you lose, you lose your magic items. If you win, you have been ascended and can no longer adventure because you now have far too much on your plate.

01-02-2011, 12:20 AM
@ninjineko (n@ninjineko): The whole grapple idea worked, he got attacked by a 700 pound gnome and was knocked unconsious under his fat. XD

i am gratified that one of my ideas helped out.

as far as the vorpal weapons go, curse the pair so that one of them will randomly backbite a certain percentage of the time, but he never knows which one. better hope it doesn't backbite on a crit.... ^^ you could even have a sliding scale that you secretly keep track of: starts down at 1% and goes up by 1% for every attack made, or some such.

i believe in the "rule of yes" ala "tesral's maxim". sure it might have been early to give such a set of abilities to a character, but you have repeatedly stated that you are having a great time. so long as each individual member of the group can say the same thing, then you are doing all right. it seems to me that you just want some ideas on how to... blunt... the character a bit from time to time. so i'm against just taking stuff away, in general. however, if i do reach the point of desiring to take it away, i like to make it a memorable encounter with the promise of revenge for the party against whatever i nailed them with.

you can always try applying the living spell template to a mist effect spell that slows movement. and be sure that nobody has any necklaces of adaption for sale anywhere nearby. ^^ i would like to see you try that gelatinous cube idea on them too, see what happens. =D

keep on having fun!

01-04-2011, 09:30 AM
Remember there is always a 10x10 room for Jello.

Giant jellies and oozes are the bane of monks. How do you fight something that it hurts you to hit?

Take a page from Brer' Rabbit and give him a tar baby. The old Adherer was stupid, however armor that has the same property? Weapons that strike it stick. Neodymium Plate. It blunts the effect of open hand attacks as well. Give the Armor wearer DR5--. I would have a strength check to get your weapon back with every hit. Something doable, but difficult at best. Even hands and feet stick to the armor (tar baby)

The solution is obviously don't hit the armor wearer with something you want back. They can have al lthe arrows and magic they want.

Last nasty. A potion has to be applied to the armor to maintain it. The stuff is expensive to keep. Forget to feed it and it looses it's sticking power and DR. It requires expensive restoration and more potion. And/or make it the identifying mark of a hated foe. Good as it is the resale value is nil. The Ancient Order of Really Evil Guys comes after anyone wearing it, or wearing it gets you constant challenges from good guys for being an evil bastard.

Counter him with a monk. A rival order or rogues from his own order that are his equal. He either deals with the equivalent threat or the rest of the party bites it. Being monks with vow of poverty they have nothing.

06-30-2011, 11:06 AM
Alright on the subject of monks and vorpal weapons, first point Vorpal weapons only sever the head on a natural twenty, UNMODIFIED NATURAL TWENTY, and even then you have to roll to confirm the critical hit, Second he cannot flurry with the kukri so he is far from the whirling cloud of beheding blades unless he took two weapon fighting, and third throw some high level undead at him they can lose thier heads and keep on comming. as for area effct spells Improved evasion sez at best you do half damage the fantastic saves mean that only the most min/maxinest spell caster has a chance of bothering him with a fireball or lightning bolt, and thats not even counting his diamond soul ability that gives him Spell Resistance of 25 at this point so even if he fails his save you are doing half damage not counting the various magical items he might have to bolster his defenses, you still have to get through his significant spell resistance to even hurt him. My hearty suggestion get a big ass undead charger out ther and use readied actions and power attack watch those hit points drop, failing that invisibility and save or die spamming if your feeling ham handed. much love teh bastard

06-30-2011, 02:10 PM
One spell comes to mind to deal with the weapons part nice old school 9th level wizard spell called Mordenkainen's Disjunction.

Level:9 Schools:Alteration, Enchantment Range:0 Components:V Duration:Instantaneous Casting Time:9 Area of Effect:30-ft. radius Saving Throw:Special

When this spell is cast, all magic and magical items within the radius of the spell, except those on the person of or being touched by the spellcaster, are disjoined. That is, spells being cast are separated into their individual components (usually spoiling the effect as a dispel magic spell does), and permanent and enchanted magical items must successfully save (vs. spell if actually cast on a creature, or vs. a dispel magic spell otherwise) or be turned into normal items. Even artifacts and relics are subject to Mordenkainen's disjunction, though there is only a 1% chance per caster experience level of actually affecting such powerful items. Thus, all potions, scrolls, rings, rods, miscellaneous magical items, artifacts and relics, arms and armor, swords, and miscellaneous weapons within 30 feet of the spellcaster can possibly lose all their magical properties when the Mordenkainen's disjunction spell is cast. The caster also has a 1% chance per level of destroying an antimagic shell. If the shell survives the disjunction, no items within it are disjoined. Note: Destroying artifacts is a dangerous business, and 95% likely to attract the attention of some powerful being who has an interest or connection with the device. Additionally, if an artifact is destroyed, the casting wizard must roll a successful saving throw vs. spell with a -4 penalty or permanently lose all spellcasting abilities.

06-30-2011, 04:01 PM
ooooohhhh yeah forgot about that badboy, yeah that'll steal his thunder right quick

08-22-2011, 10:37 AM
Vorpal: some creatures don't care about Vorpal, like constructs, undead, and elementals. Maybe even outsiders...

High AC: This creates a great touch defense, but not a great flat-footed defense. So, surprise attacks and invisible attacks will get past the Flash. Also, at least in D&D3, a Feint deprives the opponent of some speed-AC.