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pauliewal
08-16-2010, 03:55 PM
My D&D group has a player who's personal hygene is terrible. He literally has a stench that surrounds him that makes everyone in the group gag. He is a responsible person, a good roleplayer and a good guy and this issue is the only one we have with him. Doe everyone in the community think it would be too harsh to tell him or just lie to him and say the group is breaking up?

I have always been a little awkward when it comes to situations like this so i would appreciate suggestions?

Thanks Guys

Sascha
08-16-2010, 04:28 PM
Honesty is the best policy.

milothemage
08-16-2010, 04:34 PM
Well don't embarrass the guy in front of others. pull the guy aside and tell him that its nothing personal but people are finding his smell offensive. Theres no delicate way to do it.
He might be offended but theres no way around that.
If you don't think you can handle the situation have someone else do it who is close/closer with the guy to avoid a bad confrontation.

SDJThorin
08-16-2010, 04:42 PM
Have you mentioned this to him?

Years back I had a player with a similar issue. I took him aside one day after everyone else went home and asked him if he had been working hard before coming over or something... he told me that he liked to hit the gym before gaming, then he asked why.

I told him that I could smell him clear across the table -- I probably could have been gentler but I was a lot younger and stupider in those days -- he was a bit put out, but took it as well as one could...

I asked him to shower before he came over from then on. He did and we gamed together for a few more years before he moved away.

Honesty is the best policy.

If you're planning on getting rid of him anyway, you've really got nothing to lose in the trying... except as you said, a good roleplayer.

jpatterson
08-16-2010, 06:42 PM
I'm in total agreement with all the above, especially the part about asking him, if nothing else, specifically to shower before coming to your game, if nothing else. Because - in total candid honesty, I used to be that guy and even slip occasionally still, a day or so more than I intend, just not paying attention.

I'm not entirely sure, still, what the reason was, though I've had chronic depression all my life and am on meds and counseling right now and have an even worse social and employment situation that I don't care to go into. I did it in school, and up til I was 22 or so, til my friends, who had said things now and then, made a special point of addressing it and really driving the point home with just their personal reasoning for not being like that. It just never seemed like a big deal to me I guess, I am and was overweight growing up, so I developed the ability to take a LOT of teasing about a lot of things and slough it off with pretty much no thought, so unless someone made a direct full point, I simply wasn't going to realize it was a problem I guess, so I very honestly don't think anything but what my friends did would have worked on me - they were mean but funny about it to an extent, but it was overall a "But really, man, seriously, listen..." type of talk.

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
08-16-2010, 07:22 PM
Tell him. It's the right thing to do.

Skunkape
08-17-2010, 09:18 AM
Jess Hartley wrote an article addressing hygiene that you might want to read through before you approach this player. Here (http://www.penandpapergames.com/forums/content.php/52-One-Geek-to-Another-The-Dope-on-Soap) is the link to the article.

Valar
08-24-2010, 07:54 AM
I had a buddy of mine doing the same thing. One day I threw a towel at him told him where to find the shower, soap, and shampoo. He showered and then we played. After the game, he told me how offended he was. In return, I told him how offended I was that he would come to my house in such a nasty condition. We worked it out and he's been one of my players for over 20 years now. Just tell him... no real harm in it.

cplmac
08-26-2010, 11:59 AM
Sent a PM (private message). Check it out as well as following the link provided by Skunkape to Jess Hartley's article on the subject.

rabkala
08-26-2010, 08:23 PM
I think brutal is best. Call him out in front of the group and make fun of him! Keep doing it 'til he cries or storms out. This way, he may remember it and change. If he doesn't quit of his own volition, remind him frequently by calling his character "stinky", "skunkape", or "cplmac". :lol:

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
08-26-2010, 08:30 PM
pc-sensitive never solves problems. Be honest and to the point, and if he's mature enough, he'll listen.

Skunkape
08-30-2010, 12:46 PM
I think brutal is best. Call him out in front of the group and make fun of him! Keep doing it 'til he cries or storms out. This way, he may remember it and change. If he doesn't quit of his own volition, remind him frequently by calling his character "stinky", "skunkape", or "cplmac". :lol::p

:biggrin:

tesral
08-30-2010, 05:13 PM
pc-sensitive never solves problems. Be honest and to the point, and if he's mature enough, he'll listen.

I hate ditto posts, but this is the whole point. It is unnecessary to be brutal, but frank works.

cplmac
09-02-2010, 09:00 AM
I think brutal is best. Call him out in front of the group and make fun of him! Keep doing it 'til he cries or storms out. This way, he may remember it and change. If he doesn't quit of his own volition, remind him frequently by calling his character "stinky", "skunkape", or "cplmac". :lol:

:laugh:


Belsar Hammerfell (level 6 Dwarf Fighter in my blog) baths once a month wether he needs to or not. Don't want to be mistaken for a Gully Dwarf.

:bathbaby:

yukonhorror
09-02-2010, 09:27 AM
Lying to him is not the way to go. I am not sure if he is American or not, but I KNOW of some cultures where bathing isn't common. If this is the case, I think it is just a case of explaining that even though at home bathing is uncommon, personal hygiene is common case here. Just like learning the language, learning customs like bathing is an important piece of living in a different society.

Now if he is just a smelly American, go to Jess's article and follow her advice. No need to be harsh (as it sounds he is a good player aside from the smelliness) so you don't want him leaving, you just don't want a smelly player. I'd say tell him if he wants to avoid showers/baths that is his choice, but before he comes to a game (I am assuming it is a weekly game) then he has to take a quick shower and put on some deodorant before hand. It may also help to give him an example of a behavior he may find offensive (cursing, obnoxious drinker, smoker, etc...) to put it into context that it is just as bad.

If he refuses and you still want him in the game, tell him he can play via Skype :).

But yes, I'd go with what someone said above. Do it via email or something like that, so that he can blow up in isolation and have time to cool off and think about your request.

Tog
09-09-2010, 02:43 PM
I think being honest an up front and just letting him no he is offending everyone's senses is the way to go.

If you do have a hard time with this, you could always send him a bar of soap and some deoderant and whatever other products you think he should really be using in the mail. You could even find someone to do this for you if you were worried about it being linked to you.

I personally have two friends that have this same problem. I might not bathe myself on my day off and I don't leave the house. I bathe religiously though every other ( I don't mean every other day as in once every two days) day and if I do plan on leaving the house though.