View Full Version : Ovandajia

07-12-2009, 02:04 AM
EDIT UPDATE: Actively looking for one player as of 10/2/15

Dear Kind Sir, Madam, Transitioner, et al.:

Are you longing to rejoin the glamorous life of a Dungeons & Dragon player? Do you regret losing your social status as one who describes in detail his or her character's appearance? Do you miss demonstrating to other grown adults how you fire magic missiles from your dramatically outstretched hand? Are you confused why this post assumes you played D&D in your misspent youth?

Well let me tell you, brother and/or sister, your time has arrived!

I run a 5th Edition D&D game in Woodland Hills, CA on Tuesday nights from 7:00 to 11:00 pm, and we're looking for a non-smoking, non-perfume/cologne-wearing, socially outgoing player. This dedicated group of 2 women and 3 men consists of comedians, actors, and entertainment industry professionals who all think they're so effing funny. As entertainment people, the group skews liberal. If you are fun to be around and have good personal hygiene, keep reading!

I've been DMing this home brew campaign world for a very long time and run serial -- rather than episodic -- sessions. That means a story arc typically does not go through a beginning, middle, and end in a single session; rather, the arc may take a few weeks -- if not months or years -- to resolve. Wherever a session ends one week will be the place it picks up in the next. Because of this play style, a catch-as-catch can attendance pattern would not be a good fit. If, after test-driving the game, you feel you'd like to join permanently, we would ask that you please make a commitment to coming on a weekly basis. The players in this game have been playing continuously for upwards of 9, 13, and 15 years, and we have very little turnover.

We play at my clean house in a huge gaming room with a 6' round convention table that seats seven people. The low-density neighborhood is very safe and has ample parking on both sides of the street. The house is built down the grade of a hill, and you will be required to walk down 2 flights of stairs to the lowest level with a banister on only one side. If you have mobility issues, this unfortunately would not be the game for you.

I've written 5 modules for the RPGA, which were highly rated. My storylines usually involve a lot of political intrigue, high-flying adventure, and memorable NPCs. While we take our adventures and RP seriously, we laugh through most of the game, always having fun regardless of what doom has befallen the PCs.

In summation, we are:

Are fun
Are a non-smoker and donít wear cologne or perfume
Have a reliable car
Able to climb stairs without scraping your effing backpack against my walls
Brush your teeth at least 2 times a day
Bathe every day (and that includes washing under your arms, your genitals, and in the cleavage of your buttocks. With soap.)
Apply antiperspirant every day
Put your dirty underwear in the laundry basket and wear a fresh pair every day -- just like mom told you
Wash your hands after visiting the toilet
Discretely leave the room if you must pass gas
Don't spit food when you talk
Don't belch the alphabet to be cute and fun
Have the socials skills to banter and hold your own with an outgoing group of fun, vulgar, sociable, well-groomed, hygienic, non-smokers

If this sounds like something you might be interested in, drop me a private message, and I'll send more info.

Thanks for your interest!

10-02-2015, 02:44 PM
After 8 years, one of my long-time players had to drop out due to a scheduling conflict, and we are now looking for a new player. At the same time, we are restarting a brand new campaign with 1st level characters and are switching over to 5th Edition rules starting this Tuesday, October 6, 2015. This is the perfect opportunity to join and be even-steven with everyone as we all oooh and ahhh at the new rules together. If you’re interested, see above post.