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Panthro82
07-03-2009, 11:33 AM
This thread is for all funny quotes. :laugh:Can be movies, music, :biggrin: television, :rolleyes: books, :p internet, :lol: something uttered or said in your own life or someone else':pound: :mod:...






"Me Fail English? That's unpossible!" -Ralph Wiggum "The Simpsons"

Webhead
07-03-2009, 12:45 PM
"It's his butt that has the velocity."

"The company bananas will be kept in my office until they ripen so that David will not eat them. Thank you."

"It all comes down to sheep."

"It may be that [the guard] finds the sound of the arrow entering his body slightly suspicious."

-----

Programmer 1: "Where does the player arm come from?"

Programmer 2: "Well, there's a mommy player arm and a daddy player arm..."

Programmer 3: "...and they both love eachother very much. And the daddy player arm has a seed..."

--All quotes from the development team during the production of the PC game Thief: The Dark Project

Arkhemedes
07-03-2009, 01:02 PM
Confucius say: Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Maxwell Smart: "Ah ha! If it isn't the Chaos agent known as the Craw!"
The Claw (an Asian man): "Not the Craw! The Craw!"

Maxwell Smart: "There are seven U.S. cruisers bearing down on your position at this very moment, would you believe it? Seven!"
"No? How about six U.S. cruisers?"
"No? How about two policemen in a rowboat?"

Sascha
07-03-2009, 01:41 PM
Kermit the Frog (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0926209/): [on streaking] I don't see what the big deal is. I'm naked right now. I guess when you're human you have more parts to flop around.
I Love the 70s

Fozzie Bear (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0324397/): [from behind the stage] Psst!
Kermit the Frog (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001345/): Hey, Fozzie. Is Bob Hope here yet?
Fozzie Bear (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0324397/): No, I'm just going out to lunch. C... can I get you anything?
Kermit the Frog (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001345/): Uh, Bob Hope.
Fozzie Bear (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0324397/): Sorry. You'll have to settle for salami on rye.
The Muppet Show, 2.21, "Bob Hope"

(and this whole skit (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYiWWdzDYMs): too long to type out :P)

Oldgamer
07-03-2009, 01:58 PM
"Gravity is a harsh mistress ... " The Tick after falling.

"Egad! A gigantic well-dressed digestive enzyme! I am in a whale!" ... again ... the Tick ... he has some of my favorite comedic lines.

Sascha
07-03-2009, 02:43 PM
Burton 'Gus' Guster (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0384211/): You always gotta hit it right on the nose, don't you? Why couldn't I be Crockett?
Shawn Spencer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0734442/): Because, Gus, you stood in front of the entire third grade class and said, "When I grow up, I want to be Phillip Michael Thomas."
Burton 'Gus' Guster (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0384211/): Well, you said, "I want to be the mascot for the Milwaukee Brewers."
Shawn Spencer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0734442/): Dude, he's the biggest sausage in the world!
Psych, 2.5, "And Down the Stretch Comes Murder"

Shawn Spencer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0734442/): A chance to go undercover in high school, a la "21 Jump Street." Obviously I'm Johnny Depp. Sadly, you can only pass for Holly Robinson.
Burton 'Gus' Guster (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0384211/): Why can't I be Richard Grieco?
Shawn Spencer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0734442/): Why would you want to be Richard Grieco?
2.7, "If You're So Smart, Then Why Are You Dead?"

(really, just go watch Psych. James Roday's delivery is deadpan awesome. Hard to convey through just the text :P)

Panthro82
07-03-2009, 11:57 PM
"Did everything just taste purple there for a second?" -Fry "Futurama"

Chavic
07-04-2009, 10:54 AM
"I have many leather-bound books, and my apartment smells of rich Mahogany" --Anchorman

Sascha
07-04-2009, 11:19 AM
Guy Noir (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000177/): She had a Mount Rushmore t-shirt on, and those guys never looked so good. Especially Jefferson and Lincoln. Kind of bloated but happy.

Dusty (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000437/): [singing] When God created woman / He gave her not two breasts but three. / When the middle one got in the way, / God performed surgery. / Woman stood before God / With the middle breast in hand / Said,"What do we do with the useless boob?" / And God created man.

Garrison Keillor (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0445087/): The penguin joke? Two penguins are standing on an ice floe. The first penguin says, you look like you're wearing a tuxedo. The second penguin says, what makes you think I'm not?

All from A Prairie Home Companion.

Panthro82
07-04-2009, 12:05 PM
"mmmmmmm that's good bathtub minestrone!" -Zap Brannigan "Futurama"

traesin
07-05-2009, 02:55 AM
I saw this picture once of Tony Stewart(nascar driver) wearing a t-shirt that said "I failed drivers ed"

"In time of crisis, it is of utmost importance not to lose one's head" M. Antoinette-From Robert Asprin's book Another Fine Myth

Panthro82
07-05-2009, 11:57 AM
"Your voice is like a mixture of Fergie and Jesus!" John Reilly "Step-Brothers"

Sascha
07-05-2009, 01:01 PM
Some Arrested Development:

Wife of Gob (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0688132/): I'm in love with your brother-in-law.
Gob (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004715/): You’re in love with your own brother.
Wife of Gob (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0688132/): No, your sister's husband.
Gob (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004715/): Michael? Michael.
Wife of Gob (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0688132/): No, that's your sister's brother.
Gob (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004715/): No, I'm my sister's brother. You’re in love with me. Me.
Wife of Gob (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0688132/): NO! I'm in love with Tobias.
Gob (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004715/): My brother-in-law?
1.20, "Whistler's Mother"

Michael (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000867/): What do you think of when you hear the word, "Sudden Valley"?
George Michael Bluth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0148418/): Salad dressing, I think. But for some reason I don't want to eat it.
Michael (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000867/): Right. But, "Paradise Gardens"?
George Michael Bluth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0148418/): Yeah... Okay, I can... I can see marinating a chicken in that.
2.7, "Switch Hitter"

Michael Bluth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000867/): You seem more villainous than usual, Mom; are you sober?
Lucille (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0910055/): Michael, it's eight a.m.
Michael Bluth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000867/): So, it's not that.
Lucille (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0910055/): I don't know. Maybe it's because I went off my post-partum medication.
Michael Bluth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000867/): You were still taking that? You had Buster thirty-two years ago.
Lucille (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0910055/): And that's how long I've been depressed about him.
Lucille (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0910055/): Well, apparently, mood-altering medication leads to street drugs. That's what this very handsome young doctor said on the Today Show.
Michael Bluth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000867/): That was Tom Cruise, the actor.
Lucille (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0910055/): They said he was some kind of scientist.
3.1, "The Cabin Show"

Panthro82
07-05-2009, 04:15 PM
"Some call me......Tim?" -Monty Pythons Quest For The Holy Grail

Genesplicer
07-05-2009, 04:26 PM
"I bet she gives good helmet." - Dark Helmet

Panthro82
07-05-2009, 04:28 PM
"Chester if you were a doughnut. You'd be cream filled." -Sifl & Olly

Katbutt
07-06-2009, 02:11 PM
"Are we permitted to put death to the insane?" Lord Ariakan

"Hey this thing has autofire!" Defarious (A guy in ny mage cabal)

"Trucks are made to run over people, remember that." Alias (Once again form my mage cabal)

Sascha
07-06-2009, 03:53 PM
[about Thanksgiving]
Anya (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0146536/): I love a ritual sacrifice.
Buffy (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001264/): Not really a one of those.
Anya (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0146536/): To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrifice. With pie.
Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, 4.8, "Pangs"

Webhead
07-07-2009, 01:14 AM
Guy: "There's a red...thingy moving toward the green thingy."

Gwen: "What?"

Guy: "...a red thingy moving toward the green thingy. I think...I think we're the green thingy!"

-----

Guy: "Sure, they're cute now...but in a second they're gonna get ugly somehow and there's gonna be a million more of them!"

-----

Gwen: "We gotta get out of here before one of those things kills Guy!"

--Galaxy Quest

Panthro82
07-07-2009, 06:02 AM
"I support your war of terror!" -Borat

Oldgamer
07-07-2009, 10:30 AM
Jack Burton: Like I told my last wife, I says, "Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides that, it's all in the reflexes."

Panthro82
07-07-2009, 11:01 AM
"I bent my wookie!" -Ralph Wiggum "The Simpsons"

Sascha
07-08-2009, 04:21 PM
('cause there just aren't enough words to describe the funny that is Arrested Development...)

Michael Bluth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000867/): What have we always said is the most important thing?
George Michael Bluth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0148418/): Breakfast
Michael Bluth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000867/): Family
George Michael Bluth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0148418/): Oh, right. Family. I thought you meant of the things you eat.

[George Michael meets Maeby for the first time]
Mae 'Maeby' Funke (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0790057/): Excuse me. I bought one of your frozen bananas and when I bit into it, I found this!
[she shows him the foot she cut off of Lucille's fox wrap]
George Michael Bluth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0148418/): That looks like a foot.
Mae 'Maeby' Funke (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0790057/): It tasted like a foot! Which I really didn't mind except I'm pretty sure I said no nuts.
1.1, "Pilot"

Lucille (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0910055/): I have a plan to stave off intruders.
Michael Bluth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000867/): What's that?
Lucille (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0910055/): [holds up an air horn and a fire poker] First I blow him then I poke him.
Michael Bluth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000867/): [stunned] Guy doesn't know what he's in for.
2.6, "Afternoon Delight"

Narrator (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000165/): And so like two people who no longer felt anything for each other, George Michael and Maeby decided to get married.
3.10, "Fakin' It"

Katbutt
07-08-2009, 04:37 PM
knight1-What is your name?
Green-My name is Link!
Knight2-What is your quest?
Green-To save Princess Zelda from the clutches of evl!
knight1-What... is the quickest way to a man's heart?
Green-The quickest way to a mna's heart? I don't-
Red-(drunk with a slurred southern accent) Chuck Norris' fist
knights-(look at each other)
Knight1-That is correct
Green-Chuck Norris' fist?! Where'd you get that answer?
Red-(STILL drunk and w/ accent) Green, Chuck Norris is everywhere.

From LoZ Four swords wisadevtures, which sadly isn't mine... :(

Genesplicer
07-08-2009, 04:51 PM
"You/He/She/It/They can't do that!" said by a variety of people, usualy right after you/he/she/it/they have in fact, just done that.

Panthro82
07-09-2009, 02:47 AM
Ralph: Are you my mommy?
Teacher: No Ralph
"The Simpsons"

Webhead
07-10-2009, 01:08 AM
Jack Burton: Like I told my last wife, I says, "Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides that, it's all in the reflexes."

Jack Burton: "...This "Lo Pan" character's got his buddies flying around on wires cutting people to ribbons and he just stands there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him...with light coming out of his mouth!"

:laugh:

Panthro82
07-10-2009, 01:10 AM
Big Trouble In Little China is an epic movie!

Sascha
07-10-2009, 01:16 AM
Indeed.

Jack Burton (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000621/): [pointing to Chinese writing on elevator] What does that say?
Wang Chi (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0241748/): [speaks Chinese] Hell of Boiling Oil.
Jack Burton (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000621/): You're kidding.
Wang Chi (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0241748/): Yeah, I am. It says "Keep Out."

Gracie (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000326/): I'd go with you but...
Jack Burton (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000621/): I know, there's a problem with your face.

Webhead
07-10-2009, 01:19 AM
Big Trouble In Little China is an epic movie!

Burton: "What's in the flask, Egg? Magic potion?"

Egg Shen: "Yeah."

Burton: "Thought so, good. What do we do? Drink it?"

Egg Shen: "Yeah!"

Burton: "Good, thought so."

Panthro82
07-10-2009, 01:26 AM
Eddie: (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0508397/) Well sure it was a war. And anybody that showed up was gonna join Lem Lee in the Hell of Being Cut to Pieces.
Jack Burton (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000621/): Hell of being what?
Eddie (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0508397/): Chinese have a lot of Hells.

Webhead
07-10-2009, 02:05 AM
Lo Pan: "...and when I find her, I will marry her! Then Ching Dai will be happy and my curse will be lifted!"

Burton: "And you'll go on to rule the Universe from beyond the grave!"

Lo Pan: "Indeed!"

Burton: "Or check into a psycho ward, whichever comes first, huh?"

Panthro82
07-10-2009, 02:28 AM
Another quotable and memorable 80's flick....The Golden Child

Chandler Jarrell(Eddie Murphy):Only a man whose heart is pure can wield the knife, and only a man whose ass is narrow can get down these steps. And if mine's is such an ass, then I shall have it!

Sascha
07-10-2009, 10:09 AM
Major Strasser (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0891998/): Are you one of those people who cannot imagine the Germans in their beloved Paris?
Rick (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000007/): It's not particularly my beloved Paris.
Heinz (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0720961/): Can you imagine us in London?
Rick (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000007/): When you get there, ask me!
Captain Renault (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001647/): Hmmh! Diplomatist!
Major Strasser (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0891998/): How about New York?
Rick (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000007/): Well there are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn't advise you to try to invade.

Major Strasser (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0891998/): What is your nationality?
Rick (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000007/): I'm a drunkard.
Captain Renault (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001647/): That makes Rick a citizen of the world.
[all laugh]

Major Strasser (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0891998/): We have a complete dossier on you: Richard Blaine, American, age 37. Cannot return to his country. The reason is a little vague. We also know what you did in Paris, Mr. Blaine, and also we know why you left Paris.
[hands the dossier to Rick]
Major Strasser (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0891998/): Don't worry, we are not going to broadcast it.
Rick (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000007/): [reading] Are my eyes really brown?

Captain Renault (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001647/): I've often speculated why you don't return to America. Did you abscond with the church funds? Run off with a senator's wife? I like to think you killed a man. It's the Romantic in me.
Rick (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000007/): It was a combination of all three.

(Best movie, evar. And such snark~ ^_^)

Oldgamer
07-10-2009, 11:09 AM
Burton: "What's in the flask, Egg? Magic potion?"

Egg Shen: "Yeah."

Burton: "Thought so, good. What do we do? Drink it?"

Egg Shen: "Yeah!"

Burton: "Good, thought so."


Jack Burton: Feel pretty good. I'm not, uh, I'm not scared at all. I just feel kind of... feel kind of invincible.

Wang Chi: Me, too. I got a very positive attitude about this.

Jack Burton: Good, me too.

Wang Chi: Yeah!

[pause]

Jack Burton: Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?

Panthro82
07-10-2009, 12:07 PM
Ed Harken: A lot of you have been hearing the affiliates complaining about a lack of diversity on the news team.
Champ Kind: What in the hell's diversity?
Ron Burgundy: Well, I could be wrong, but I believe Diversity was an old old wooden ship used during the Civil War era.
Ed: Ron, I would be surprised if the affiliates were concerned about the lack of an old, old wooden ship, but nice try...

-Anchorman

Genesplicer
07-10-2009, 03:31 PM
Major Strasser (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0891998/): Are you one of those people who cannot imagine the Germans in their beloved Paris?
Rick (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000007/): It's not particularly my beloved Paris.
Heinz (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0720961/): Can you imagine us in London?
Rick (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000007/): When you get there, ask me!
Captain Renault (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001647/): Hmmh! Diplomatist!
Major Strasser (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0891998/): How about New York?
Rick (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000007/): Well there are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn't advise you to try to invade.

Major Strasser (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0891998/): What is your nationality?
Rick (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000007/): I'm a drunkard.
Captain Renault (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001647/): That makes Rick a citizen of the world.
[all laugh]

Major Strasser (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0891998/): We have a complete dossier on you: Richard Blaine, American, age 37. Cannot return to his country. The reason is a little vague. We also know what you did in Paris, Mr. Blaine, and also we know why you left Paris.
[hands the dossier to Rick]
Major Strasser (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0891998/): Don't worry, we are not going to broadcast it.
Rick (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000007/): [reading] Are my eyes really brown?

Captain Renault (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001647/): I've often speculated why you don't return to America. Did you abscond with the church funds? Run off with a senator's wife? I like to think you killed a man. It's the Romantic in me.
Rick (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000007/): It was a combination of all three.

(Best movie, evar. And such snark~ ^_^)What movie is this?

Panthro82
07-10-2009, 03:36 PM
Ron Burgundy (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0002071/): Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
Champ Kind (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0462712/): It jumped up a notch.
Ron Burgundy (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0002071/): It did, didn't it?
Brick Tamland (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0136797/): Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
Ron Burgundy (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0002071/): I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0136797/): Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
Ron Burgundy (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0002071/): Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.

-Anchorman

Genesplicer
07-10-2009, 04:02 PM
Admiral Winslow: "Damn it! Don't go by the book!! Think Like a pirate. I wan't a man with a tatoo on his dick! Have I got the right man?"
Captian Dodge: "By a strange coincidence, you do, Sir."

Panthro82
07-10-2009, 04:14 PM
Ron Burgundy (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0002071/): Oh Audrey - I look like hell! I got bags under my eyes. What's that? Well if you were a man, I'd punch you. Punch you right in the mouth. That's bush. Bush league. YOU HEAR ME? AUDREY! LOOK AT ME! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Alright?

Sascha
07-10-2009, 06:19 PM
What movie is this?
Bah, forgot to cite. Casablanca.

Panthro82
07-10-2009, 08:23 PM
Ron Burgundy (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0002071/): Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball!

traesin
07-11-2009, 02:01 PM
Han solo: How are doing?
Luke: Same as always.
Han solo: That bad huh.

Panthro82
07-11-2009, 02:14 PM
Ron Burgundy: You're a smelly pirate hooker!

-Anchorman

Sascha
07-11-2009, 06:33 PM
Statler (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0402611/): You think this show is educational?
Waldorf (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001345/): Yes, it will drive people to read books.
The Muppet Show, 1.2, "Connie Stevens"

RoryN
07-11-2009, 09:01 PM
From one of my all-time favorites:

Katy: Boon, I think I'm in love with a retard.
Boon: Is he bigger than me?


D-Day: War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.
Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Otter: Germans?
Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.

Hoover: They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!

And those now infamous words...

Bluto: TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!
--- Merged from Double Post ---

Big Trouble In Little China is an epic movie!

Agreed! I was going to put that movie as my guilty pleasure in another thread, but I never feel that guilty about watching it. :biggrin:

Sascha
07-11-2009, 09:30 PM
<3<3 Daria

Teacher: Daria, what about your goal?
Daria (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0334935/): Uhmmm. I don't have any.
Teacher: Oh come, Daria! You must have some goal.
Daria (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0334935/): My goal is not to wake up at forty with the bitter realization that I've wasted my life in a job I hate, because I was forced to decide on a career in my teens.
Daria, 2.8, "Gifted"

Jane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0393812/): Do you know CPR or anything?
Daria (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0334935/): I once gave the Heimlich maneuver to Quinn.
Jane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0393812/): Did it work?
Daria (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0334935/): She wasn't choking.
Daria, 1.4, "Cafe Disaffecto"

Oldgamer
07-12-2009, 09:46 AM
"You never know where you're going 'til you get there."

Daffy Duck

Webhead
07-12-2009, 03:44 PM
Winston: "Now, are we actually gonna go before a federal judge, and tell him that some moldy Babylonian god is going to drop in on Central Park West, and start tearing up the city?"

Egon: "Sumerian, not Babylonian."

Peter: "Yeah, big difference."

-----

Peter: "We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft's okay! He's a sailor, he's in New York; we get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble!"

-----

Egon: "There's something very important I forgot to tell you."

Peter: "What?"

Egon: "Don't cross the streams!"

Peter: "Why?"

Egon: "It would be bad."

Peter: "I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, bad?"

Egon: "Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light."

Ray: "Total protonic reversal!"

Peter: "Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon."

Sascha
07-12-2009, 04:54 PM
Pete (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001806/): The Preacher said it absolved us.
Ulysses Everett McGill (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000123/): For him, not for the law. I'm surprised at you, Pete, I gave you credit for more brains than Delmar.
Delmar O'Donnell (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0625789/): But they was witnesses that seen us redeemed.
Ulysses Everett McGill (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000123/): That's not the issue Delmar. Even if that did put you square with the Lord, the State of Mississippi's a little more hard-nosed.
[laughs]
Ulysses Everett McGill (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000123/): Baptism! You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!

Delmar O'Donnell (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0625789/): Care for some gopher?
Ulysses Everett McGill (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000123/): No thank you, Delmar. One third of a gopher would only arouse my appetite without bedding it down.
Delmar O'Donnell (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0625789/): Oh, you can have the whole thing. Me and Pete already had one apiece. We ran across a whole... gopher village.

Pete (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001806/): Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit?
Ulysses Everett McGill (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000123/): Well Pete, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain't the consensus view, then hell, let's put it to a vote.
Pete (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001806/): Suits me. I'm voting for yours truly.
Ulysses Everett McGill (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000123/): Well I'm voting for yours truly too.
[Everett and Pete look at Delmar for the deciding vote]
Delmar O'Donnell (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0625789/): Okay... I'm with you fellas.

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Panthro82
07-12-2009, 05:33 PM
Ron Burgundy: Milk was a bad choice!

-Anchorman

traesin
07-13-2009, 03:03 AM
"opps" -any kender

Panthro82
07-13-2009, 03:43 AM
[Dewey is singing a very bad version of "That's Amore"]
Record Producer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0383422/): Alright! Oh please, stop that! Stop your singing! Stop your singing this instant, young man! I will not have this in my studio! That's just a terrible, terrible, terrible... terrible "That's Amore."
Dewey Cox (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000604/): Um, maybe it was the wrong song choice. If you'd just let me play one of my songs that I wrote, I think you'd like it a whole lot better.
Record Producer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0383422/): You have failed conclusively! It's over! And there is nothing that you can do, here in this room... that can turn that around. Nothing you can do that can make up for what you just did to "That's Amore."
Dewey Cox (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000604/): [quietly] Well, my mother liked it a whole lot.
Record Producer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0383422/): Your mother was wrong! I was willing to open my mind, because these Jewish gentleman brought you in here. They usually have good taste. And now here you are in front of me, pretending you can sing. I have to say that today, your performance has shaken my belief in the Jewish people.
Dewey Cox (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000604/):Well there is nothing that I would like more, sir, than to restore your faith in Judaism. Right now. -Walk Hard

Oldgamer
07-13-2009, 09:59 AM
Gozer: Are you a God?
[Ray looks at Peter, who nods]
Ray: No.
Gozer: Then... DIE!
[Lightning flies from her fingers, driving the Ghostbusters to the edge of the roof and almost off; people below scream]
Winston: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES"!
Peter: All right! This chick is TOAST!

Arkhemedes
07-13-2009, 10:47 AM
I saw these in an apartment on the property where I work. Thought they were pretty funny even though their sure to piss of some christians:

"Christians - you can't live with them, and you can't feed them to the lions any more."

"The only problem with Baptists is that they don't hold them under the water long enough."

Panthro82
07-13-2009, 01:06 PM
I saw these in an apartment on the property where I work. Thought they were pretty funny even though their sure to piss of some christians:

"Christians - you can't live with them, and you can't feed them to the lions any more."

"The only problem with Baptists is that they don't hold them under the water long enough."

lol, hey if they're gonna act crazy they should have tough skin.

Edith (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1325419/): What about my dreams?
Dewey Cox (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000604/): Edith I told you I can't build your candy house! It will fall apart, the sun will melt the candy, it won't work! -Walk Hard

Sascha
07-13-2009, 01:46 PM
Time for everybody's favorite news monster!

http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s36/gray_sascha/morbolinda.jpg

Morbo (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005606/): Morbo wishes these stalwart nomads peace among the Dutch tulips.
Linda the Newsanchor (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0534134/): At least all those windmills will keep them cool.
Morbo (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005606/): Windmills do not work that way! Good night!
"Crimes of the Hot"

Morbo (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005606/): So, Elzar, what will you be cooking for Morbo to devour with his mighty jaws?
Elzar (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0224007/): Morbo, I'm gonna whip you up a nice, unnameable horror from beyond, with mango chutney.
Morbo (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005606/): Pathetic humans, prepare to write down the recipe!
"30% Iron Chef"

Morbo (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005606/): Morbo will now introduce the candidates - Puny Human Number One, Puny Human Number Two, and Morbo's good friend Richard Nixon.
Richard Nixon's Head (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0921942/): How's the family, Morbo?
Morbo (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005606/): Belligerent and numerous.
"A Head in the Polls"

Morbo (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005606/): Morbo cannot read his teleprompter. He forgot how you say that letter that looks like a man wearing a hat.
Linda the Newsanchor (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0534134/): That is a T. It goes "Thuh."
Morbo (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005606/): Hello, tiny man. I will destroy you!
"The Day the Earth Stood Stupid"

Oldgamer
07-13-2009, 02:49 PM
Peter Venkman: Hee hee hee! "Get her!" That was your whole plan, huh, "get her." Very scientific.

Webhead
07-13-2009, 09:51 PM
Pete: "You stole from my kin!"

Everett: "Who was fixin' to betray us!"

Pete: "You didn't know that at the time!"

Everett: "So I borrowed it 'till I did know!"

Pete: "That don't make no sense!"

Everett: "It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart!"

--O Brother, Where Art Thou?
--- Merged from Double Post ---


Boss: "Go tell those kids to stop skateboarding in the parking lot."

Secretary: "Should I give them a reason or is this just part of your plan to remove all joy from the universe?"

(The Boss enters a room where Catbert is working)

Boss: "They know about the plan."

Catbert: "You fool! I told you to blame our insurance carrier!"

--Dilbert

Panthro82
07-13-2009, 09:57 PM
Dewey Cox (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000604/): [talking to his chimp] I'll tell you, I've had it. I've had it with all this crap! You took her side every time! All you care about is fruit, and touching yourself. Well f%ck you! -Walk Hard

Sascha
07-13-2009, 10:11 PM
Oz (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001293/): Oh, look, monkey. And he has a little hat, and little pants.
Willow (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004989/): Yeah, I-I see.
Oz (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001293/): The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that?
[Willow smiles]
Oz (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001293/): You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen. So I'm wonderin', do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like is the hippo goin', "Hey man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity." And, you know, the monkey's just, "I mock you with my monkey pants!" And then there's a big coup in the zoo.
Willow (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004989/): The monkey is French?
Oz (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001293/): All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?
Willow (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004989/): No.
Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, 2.10, "What's My Line?: Part 2"

Panthro82
07-13-2009, 10:18 PM
Dewey Cox (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000604/): So you've never done nothin' you shouldn't of done to me?
Edith (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1325419/): What have I ever done to you?
Dewey Cox (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000604/): Like that time you woke up in the middle of the night and drank up all the milk! And then I got up to have my corn flakes and there was none left!
Edith (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1325419/): Dewey, you cheated on me!
Dewey Cox (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000604/): Oh, so I'm a cheater, but you can just drink up all the milk. -Walk Hard

Genesplicer
07-14-2009, 08:14 PM
"I'm too young to die!" - Sokka
"I'm not, but I still don't wana!" - Old Fisherman
Avatar: The last Airbender - "The Storm"

Panthro82
07-14-2009, 08:46 PM
Country Doctor (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0064065/): This was a particularly bad case of somebody being cut in half.

-Walk Hard

Webhead
07-15-2009, 01:13 AM
"I'm too young to die!" - Sokka
"I'm not, but I still don't wana!" - Old Fisherman
Avatar: The last Airbender - "The Storm"

How interesting...I just watched that episode a couple of days ago! Fantastic series.

Panthro82
07-15-2009, 01:46 AM
Edith (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1325419/): It's illegal to be married to two people at the same time, Dewey!
Dewey Cox (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000604/): What about if, if you're famous? -Walk Hard

Sascha
07-15-2009, 09:58 AM
There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes.
- Garrison Keillor, "The Old Scout", The Writer's Almanac


How interesting...I just watched that episode a couple of days ago! Fantastic series.
Indeed~

Panthro82
07-18-2009, 02:03 PM
"HAHA! I touched your heart!" -Nelson Munce "The Simpsons"

Genesplicer
07-18-2009, 04:27 PM
"Bye Bye, boys! Have fun storming the castle!" - Miracle Max

Panthro82
07-22-2009, 10:50 PM
"We already have one!"
"He said they already have one!"
(quietly to other guards) "I told them we have one" (snickers)
"Can we see it?"
"No!"

Monty Python & The Holy Grail

Webhead
07-22-2009, 11:25 PM
Sphinx: "When you can balance a tack hammer on top of your head you will head off your foes with a balanced attack!"

Mr. Furious: "And why am I wearing the watermelon on my feet?"

Sphinx: "...I don't remember telling you to do that."

--Mystery Men

Sascha
07-22-2009, 11:55 PM
Psych's introductions <3<3

Shawn Spencer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0734442/): I'm Shawn Spenstar. This is my partner, Gus T.T. Showbiz.
Burton 'Gus' Guster (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0384211/): The extra T is for extra talent.
2.1, "American Duos"

Shawn Spencer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0734442/): I'm Shawn Spencer and this is my partner, Gus "Silly Pants" Jackson.
2.3, "Psy vs. Psy"

Shawn Spencer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0734442/): [introduces Gus] This is my partner, Lavender Gooms.
2.13, "Lights, Camera... Homicidio"

Shawn Spencer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0734442/): [introducing Gus] This is my partner, Patty Simcox.
2.16, "Shawn (and Gus) of the Dead"

Panthro82
07-23-2009, 12:53 AM
"Shaun. I'm sorry"
"Sorry for what?" (smells fart and gags)
"for that"

-Shaun Of The Dead

Webhead
07-23-2009, 11:12 PM
Mr. Furious: "...I think that's because Lance Hunt is Captain Amazing."

Shoveler: "Oh, don't start that again! Lance Hunt wears glasses! Captain Amazing doesn't wear glasses!"

Mr. Furious: "He takes them off when he transforms."

Shoveler: "That doesn't make any sense! He wouldn't be able to see!"

--Mystery Men

Panthro82
07-23-2009, 11:14 PM
King Arthur: On second thought. Lets not go there. It's a silly place.

-Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Genesplicer
07-24-2009, 04:35 PM
King Arthur: "Good Idea Oh, Lord!"
God: "Of course it's a good idea!"

-Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Arkhemedes
07-24-2009, 04:44 PM
The police chief in Die Hard after the bad guys blow the FBI's chopper out of the sky:

"Looks like we're going to need some more FBI guys."

Genesplicer
07-24-2009, 04:52 PM
"Just the fax ma'm."
-Die Hard II

Sascha
07-24-2009, 06:12 PM
Elvis Costello (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004845/): Thank you Father Christmas. You got me just what I wanted most: the gift of not being digested by a bear.
A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All!

Panthro82
07-24-2009, 06:19 PM
Matt Farrell (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0519043/): You just killed a helicopter with a car!
John McClane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000246/): I was out of bullets.

-Live Free Or Die Hard(the 4th and best Die Hard Movie!)

Arkhemedes
07-24-2009, 06:47 PM
Matt Farrell (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0519043/): You just killed a helicopter with a car!
John McClane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000246/): I was out of bullets.

-Live Free Or Die Hard(the 4th and best Die Hard Movie!)
I thought it was a good movie too. But I felt they missed several really good opportunities to throw some one-liners in there.

Sascha
07-24-2009, 10:31 PM
I thought it was a good movie too. But I felt they missed several really good opportunities to throw some one-liners in there.
That, and the PG-13 rating. I mean, if ya gotta edit *the line*, you're doing it wrong.

Webhead
07-25-2009, 12:02 AM
King Arthur (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001037/): "Consult the Book of Armaments."

Brother Maynard (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001385/): "Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one."

Cleric (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001589/): [reading] "And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu..."

Brother Maynard (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001385/): "Skip a bit, Brother..."

Cleric (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001589/): "And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

Brother Maynard (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001385/): "Amen."

All (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0949707/): "Amen."

King Arthur (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001037/): "Right. One... two... five."

Galahad (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001589/): "Three, sir."

King Arthur (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001037/): "Three."

--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Sascha
07-25-2009, 12:43 AM
Judith (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0429495/): [on Stan's desire to be a mother] Here! I've got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the *right* to have babies.
Francis (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001589/): Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother... sister, sorry.
Reg (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000092/): What's the *point*?
Francis (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001589/): What?
Reg (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000092/): What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?
Francis (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001589/): It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
Reg (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000092/): It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.
Life of Brian

Jmkeylon
07-25-2009, 04:13 PM
Thug: The Drunk piano player.. you're so drunk you're probably seeing double.

Doc:I've got two guns... one for each of ya.

Panthro82
07-25-2009, 07:45 PM
John Mclane: I wasn't big on Boba Fett. I was more of a Star Wars guy myself.

-Live Free Or Die Hard

CEBedford
07-26-2009, 10:09 AM
Peter Griffin: "Christmas is that mystical time of year where the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feed on the flesh of the living. So we all sing Christmas carols to lull him back to sleep."

Sascha
07-26-2009, 01:36 PM
Dr. Temperance Brennan (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0221043/): You have a son?
Special Agent Seeley Booth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004770/): Yeah.
Dr. Temperance Brennan (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0221043/): You've never mentioned that.
Special Agent Seeley Booth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004770/): Well, nothing brings people together like a Christmas lung fungus.
Bones, 1.9, "The Man in the Fallout Shelter"

Oldgamer
07-27-2009, 09:43 AM
<One of my favorite shows Sascha>

Speaking to Sweets, the federallly appointed pshychologist and doing "Word Association":

Special Agent Seeley Booth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004770/): Happy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0221043/): Sperm.
Special Agent Seeley Booth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004770/): [to Sweets] Sperm? Isn't this getting a little weird?
Dr. Lance Sweets (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0197855/): No. Keep going.
Special Agent Seeley Booth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004770/): Okay. Egg.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0221043/): I want a baby.
Special Agent Seeley Booth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004770/): Whoa!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0221043/): Horse.
Special Agent Seeley Booth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004770/): Wait. Whoa. Whoa. Wait a minute.
Dr. Lance Sweets (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0197855/): Yeah. We can stop here.

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
07-27-2009, 09:45 AM
There's nothing to fear but the fear right here. <-- Can anyone guess who said this? Hint, it was said a few years back and people scratched their heads upon hearing it. :confused:

CEBedford
07-27-2009, 10:42 AM
There's nothing to fear but the fear right here. <-- Can anyone guess who said this? Hint, it was said a few years back and people scratched their heads upon hearing it. :confused:

George W?

Sascha
07-27-2009, 11:39 AM
<One of my favorite shows Sascha>
(Yeah, between Bones and a fantastically awesome professor, that's why I'm an anthro major leaning towards forensics ;))

Captain Hammer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0277213/): It's curtains for you Dr. Horrible. Lacy, gently wafting curtains.
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Act I

Penny (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1260407/): Billy?
Dr. Horrible (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000439/): Yeah?
Penny (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1260407/): You're driving a spork into your leg.
Dr. Horrible (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000439/): So I am. Hilarious.
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Act II

Captain Hammer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0277213/): Give my regards to St Peter... or whoever does his job, but in Hell.
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Act III

Panthro82
07-28-2009, 03:31 PM
Bill Cosby should do a new show called George W Says The Darndest Things.

Sascha
07-28-2009, 04:53 PM
Frank (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000558/): It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
Jane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001636/): Goodyear?
Frank (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000558/): No, the worst.
The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!

Doom Crow
07-29-2009, 11:51 AM
Peter: (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005045/) I tried to expense a couple of Celtic tickets on the FBI--she caught me.
Walter: (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0633604/) Oh, I see. I hope she doesn't notice the $2,000 for the baboon seminal fluid I ordered. I hope I can recall why I ordered it.
Fringe: No Brainer

Sascha
07-29-2009, 01:52 PM
(<3<3 Fringe; can't wait til the new season starts~)

Peter Bishop (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005045/): You brought your own sweetener?
Dr. Walter Bishop (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0633604/): Don't be ridiculous. My medication.
Peter Bishop (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005045/): You're not on any medication, Walter.
Dr. Walter Bishop (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0633604/): Of course I am. I've been making it myself in the lab.
Peter Bishop (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005045/): Oh, I wish you were joking.
1.3, "The Ghost Network"

[edit: bah, wrong episode cited]

Doom Crow
07-29-2009, 02:09 PM
Peter Bishop: (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005045/) Walter, what are you doing?
Water Bishop: (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0633604/) I'm dosing a caterpillar.
Peter Bishop: (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005045/) Dosing? As in LSD?
Walter Bishop: (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0633604/)It's a special blend.
Peter Bishop: (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005045/) I see. Hey, guess what just happened? Finding out that my father gives drugs to bugs, somehow just became a typical moment in my life.
Walter Bishop: (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0633604/) Wonderful, isn't it?
Fringe: Bound

Oldgamer
07-30-2009, 10:32 AM
Oh man, another of my favorite shows. If Walter were to ever be taken out of the script, I would stop watching the show.

Doom Crow
07-30-2009, 01:08 PM
He'll always be on Fringe, he's what makes the show!!

Sascha
07-30-2009, 03:05 PM
Indeed. John Noble is amazing in that role.

Doom Crow
07-30-2009, 03:08 PM
He really is, I laugh out loud frequently when he's on screen, he makes the character just so damn interesting and humorously eccentric.

Sascha
07-30-2009, 04:20 PM
Dr. Walter Bishop (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0633604/): [on the phone with Peter Bishop] Hello Peter, this is me, your father, Walter Bishop.
Peter Bishop (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005045/): Thank you Walter. I know who you are.
Dr. Walter Bishop (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0633604/): Excellent...
Fringe, 1.7, "In Which We Meet Mr. Jones"

XeroDrift
09-21-2009, 11:12 PM
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
John Wayne

"My position on Vietnam is very simple. And I feel this way. I haven't spoken on it because I haven't felt there was any major contribution that I had to make at the time. I think that our concepts as a nation and that our actions have not kept pace with the changing conditions, and therefore our actions are not completely relevant today to the realities of the magnitude and the complexities of the problems that we face in this conflict."
Nelson Rockefeller

bornap
12-15-2010, 01:08 PM
From Ninjatown:
Mr. Mayor: "Oh, c'mon, Olí Master! How many Devils could we possibly have left to boot out of Ninjatown?"
Olí Master Ninja: "You want an exact number?"
Mr. Mayor: "Oh no! Just.. ballpark it for me! You know, executive summary!"
Olí Master Ninja: "Er... Ninja Consultant? A little help?"
Ninja Consultant: "Well, it's a big number."
Olí Master Ninja (looks at chart or something): "Indeed. Very big."
Mr. Mayor: "How big are we talking here?"
Ninja Consultant: "Over 9,000."
Mr. Mayor: "WHAT!? OVER 9,000!?"

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
12-15-2010, 05:59 PM
http://www.penandpapergames.com/forums/showthread.php/pnpg_style/misc/quote_icon.png Originally Posted by Thoth-Amon http://www.penandpapergames.com/forums/showthread.php/pnpg_style/buttons/viewpost-right.png (http://www.penandpapergames.com/forums/showthread.php/showthread.php?p=98585#post98585)
There's nothing to fear but the fear right here. <-- Can anyone guess who said this? Hint, it was said a few years back and people scratched their heads upon hearing it. :confused:





George W?

The Reverrrrrrrannnnnd Jesse Jackson.

We actually have a radio show out here on KFI640 called: What the heck did Jesse Jackson say?

************************************************** *****************

Okay, here's my quote for today, taken from one of America's finest comedians:

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. --Bill Cosby

I wish Hollywood would listen to this guy for I am tired of movies being made for all age groups.

Sascha
12-15-2010, 07:02 PM
Martha Rodgers (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0838360/): Ahh, they remake "Fame" and "A Christmas Carol." Has Hollywood totally run out of ideas?
Richard Castle (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0277213/): Well, they just optioned Asteroids, the video game, so my guess is yes. But Ryan Reynolds is playing the wee triangle and he's good.
Castle, 2.1, "Deep in Death"

bornap
12-16-2010, 01:05 PM
"Would you kindly move your ass to the freakin point?" - Scout, during the Control point mode or some of it's variations, Team fortress 2.
I give a cookie to first one that realizes the reference.

Sascha
12-16-2010, 03:01 PM
Clouseau (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000634/): Facts, Hercule, facts! Nothing matters but the facts. Without them the science of criminal investigation is nothing more than a guessing game.
A Shot in the Dark

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
12-16-2010, 04:00 PM
Everything comes to those who wait... except a cat. --Mario Andretti

bornap
12-25-2010, 01:21 PM
"And if you order now, I'll put in an extra beatin', absolutely free." - Scout, after killing an enemy player with melee weapon, Team fortress 2

Sascha
12-25-2010, 03:50 PM
The Great Gonzo (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0324397/): Hmmm. Let's see. Shiny nose, laughing and calling names... I got it! Meet the new star of our show: Frosty the Snow-Rat!
Kermit (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0926209/): Gee Gonzo, I thought you would have gone with Rizzo the Red-Nosed Rat-Deer.
The Great Gonzo (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0324397/): Well, sure, if you want to go for the obvious.
It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas

Mccullam
04-20-2011, 12:52 AM
Some funny quotes are:

"The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."
"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."
"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid." Free Online Music (http://977music.com/blog/2010/01/listen-to-free-online-music/)

Anarkitty
04-20-2011, 03:38 PM
“I’m different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man.”
“I am higher than any other power on earth.”
"You know, we all have our inner demons. I, for one – I can't speak for you, but I'm on the verge of moral collapse at any time."
“It’s been a tsunami of media and I’ve been riding it on a mercury surfboard.”
''Advocating through art is known as propaganda. You should look up the name Goebbels. ''
"I have no authority stemming from laws or decisions or anything else, I just have moral authority. I only have moral authority."
''When you see the effects of what they're doing to the economy, remember these words: We will survive. No -- we'll do better than survive, we will thrive. As long as these people are not in control. They are taking you to a place to be slaughtered!''
"We know that the Israeli Jack Ruby killed Lee Harvey Oswald, who had killed the president. And then this Israeli died. We have to know how and why this happened, so such things will not be repeated."
“I’m an F-18, and I will destroy you in the air and deploy my ordnance to the ground.”

Three quotes from Charlie Sheen, three from Glenn Beck, and three from Muammar Gaddafi.
I'll let you figure out which is which :)

Arnold
07-12-2011, 08:03 AM
Here are more funny quotes and hope you will like them.

1.Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
2.The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
3.There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
potty training girls (http://pottytraining-girls.net/)

movwills
07-22-2011, 03:20 AM
3408

RakshaGC
07-24-2011, 09:40 PM
"Sometimes, in the streets, a broom just isn't enough. So you gotta pick up a shotgun!"