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Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
04-28-2009, 01:52 PM
Inspired from my past (we played this game as kids around the gaming table), we all know (the old-schoolers, anyway), that wish spells are extremely dangerous if not worded correctly(there was an article about it in an early Dragon magazine). Hence: Mages need only apply.

So here's the game. You are an adventurer with a wish spell, probably from a Magic Wish Ring, or a lucky draw from the Deck of Many Things. Your problem? Ignorance to word the spell properly. Of course, you're not aware of this. Uh-oh! :eek:

Multiple people are welcome to respond to individual wishes.

Let's begin with some examples:

1) One person makes a wish

2) Another person or persons responds with how the wish misunderstood the intent of the wisher.

Example:

1) I wish for a million bucks
2) Answer: You find behind you is a line of 1 million dear.

Example #2:

1) I wish my car was restored to original condition
2) Answer: You no longer have a car for all the metals, plastics, and leathers/pleathers reverted to their original chemical composition.

Example #3:

1) I miss my youth. I wish i was young again
2) Answer: You are now a embryo

So i will begin:

1) I'm so busy, I wish for more free time -or- feel free to start this thread off with your own wish

Answer/s?

Remember folks, it's okay to be evil, clever, humorous, and/or devious with your responses.

Enjoy!

Thoth-Amon

spotlight
04-28-2009, 02:03 PM
Congratulations, you are now a quadrapligic, with nothing but free time. That evil enough?

By the way, I read this one in a short story once. "I wish I didn't have a wish anymore."

What is my wish? Not sure yet, wish I could think of a good one... whoops!

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
04-28-2009, 02:11 PM
Congratulations, you are now a quadrapligic, with nothing but free time. That evil enough?

By the way, I read this one in a short story once. "I wish I didn't have a wish anymore."

What is my wish? Not sure yet, wish I could think of a good one... whoops!
I'm going to take liberty with your response, spotlight. :biggrin:

Your wish: "I wish i didn't have a wish anymore."

My answer: You've been successfully lobotomized: Your creativity and imagination has been extinguished.

yukonhorror
04-28-2009, 02:13 PM
response to thoth

You're fired (or kicked out of school). Now you have plenty of free time.

My wish:

I wish my lipids would self assemble using the force field I want to use.



(off topic, good thread, this one could be fun)

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
04-28-2009, 02:18 PM
response to thoth

You're fired (or kicked out of school). Now you have plenty of free time.

My wish:

I wish my lipids would self assemble using the force field I want to use.



(off topic, good thread, this one could be fun)
You physical appearance morphs into a 500lbs Cartman, from Southpark: http://personales.alumno.upv.es/~faloco/hum/south/i_epis102_cartman.jpg (http://personales.alumno.upv.es/%7Efaloco/hum/south/i_epis102_cartman.jpg)

I wish for harmony.

DM_Running_Farland_3.5
04-28-2009, 07:46 PM
"I wish I could breath underwater."
Poof! You're a fish.

Malruhn
04-28-2009, 08:17 PM
You physical appearance morphs into a 500lbs Cartman, from Southpark: http://personales.alumno.upv.es/~faloco/hum/south/i_epis102_cartman.jpg (http://personales.alumno.upv.es/%7Efaloco/hum/south/i_epis102_cartman.jpg)

I wish for harmony.
This one is EASY!!

http://www.islandgazette.net/photo/pictures/images10-5-2005/Harmony10-05-05.jpg

http://www.lukemelia.com/images/blog/will-roadtrip-harmony.jpg

http://www.globaleducation.edna.edu.au/globaled/go/pid/2731

And this could go on forever.

I wish I could think of a good wish that couldn't be subverted!!

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
04-28-2009, 09:36 PM
I wish i never had to eat.

DM_Running_Farland_3.5
04-28-2009, 09:41 PM
I wish i never had to eat.
Dead
and
Done.

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
04-28-2009, 09:43 PM
LOL

I wish i could live forever

Lucian-Sunaka
04-30-2009, 03:56 AM
Congratulations Thoth, you've now become a tree, and are going to live however long this planet does if the weather or the lumbermen or the termites don't get you first.

(Yes, I'm prepared for this one to hit really hard lmao, but...)

I wish I didn't have so many women persuing me all the time.

BrotherDog
04-30-2009, 04:17 AM
What miracle is this?!?!?! Women persuing me!?!?! I thank you for your wish Lucian-Sunaka. ;;D

I wish I had a working car.

yukonhorror
04-30-2009, 09:29 AM
your car becomes sentient, grabs his suit, and starts walking to his new job as an office assistant.

Moritz
05-01-2009, 10:10 AM
I wish my office suite mate and her clients would shut up.

yukonhorror
05-01-2009, 10:16 AM
They all fall dead and deficate themselves.

tesral
05-01-2009, 11:00 AM
I wish i never had to eat.

You are now dead. You never have to eat again.


LOL

I wish i could live forever

In a century or so you are a disabled lump in a chair. Forgot that youth and health thing.

Softballs all softballs.

Riley was walking along the river when he saw a Leprechaun . He quickly leaps on the little man and caught him. "Well": said the Leprechaun, "Caught me fair and square ye did. But be warned, I'm a Leprechaun Lord and I give ye three wishes, but, there be a catch. What ever ye wish for, ye worst enemy gets twice as much."

Well and good." says Riley. "I wsh for a great house of 40 rooms, the lands and servants to support it and half a billion pounds sterling to keep myself in style."

Done said the Leprechaun and it appear on the side of the river there, and on the other side was an ganrd house of 80 rooms, with twice the servants land and money. In addition his mortal foe Shamus was standing in the midedle of it. He looked at it. "This be your doing Riley?"

"Aye" he replied. "More be a comming. Now, I wish for a dozen young lovelys to be at me beck and call to answer all my whims."

"Done" said the Leprechaun and a dozen young women of every type were araryed before him. Meanwhile Shamus had two douzen woman about him showering him with affection.

"Now Riley" he said. "This be too much!"

"The half ye have yet see." Replied Riley. "Now for me last wish."

"Aye" said the little man.

"Scare me half to death.,"

yukonhorror
05-01-2009, 03:50 PM
I wish the world would end.

DragonmagRT
05-01-2009, 09:00 PM
People never really liked using this spell in my game, as it left too much in the hands of the DM to interpret as seen fit. Although, that did not keep the occasional new guy from trying, often leading to something completely unexpected, humerous, and sometimes fatal. As long as a good time is had by all, why not?

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
05-01-2009, 09:09 PM
People never really liked using this spell in my game, as it left too much in the hands of the DM to interpret as seen fit. Although, that did not keep the occasional new guy from trying, often leading to something completely unexpected, humerous, and sometimes fatal. As long as a good time is had by all, why not?
It was real rare in our games, usually a deck of many things would would create disaster to our greedy party.
--- Merged from Double Post ---

You are now dead. You never have to eat again.



In a century or so you are a disabled lump in a chair. Forgot that youth and health thing.

Softballs all softballs.

Riley was walking along the river when he saw a Leprechaun . He quickly leaps on the little man and caught him. "Well": said the Leprechaun, "Caught me fair and square ye did. But be warned, I'm a Leprechaun Lord and I give ye three wishes, but, there be a catch. What ever ye wish for, ye worst enemy gets twice as much."

Well and good." says Riley. "I wsh for a great house of 40 rooms, the lands and servants to support it and half a billion pounds sterling to keep myself in style."

Done said the Leprechaun and it appear on the side of the river there, and on the other side was an ganrd house of 80 rooms, with twice the servants land and money. In addition his mortal foe Shamus was standing in the midedle of it. He looked at it. "This be your doing Riley?"

"Aye" he replied. "More be a comming. Now, I wish for a dozen young lovelys to be at me beck and call to answer all my whims."

"Done" said the Leprechaun and a dozen young women of every type were araryed before him. Meanwhile Shamus had two douzen woman about him showering him with affection.

"Now Riley" he said. "This be too much!"

"The half ye have yet see." Replied Riley. "Now for me last wish."

"Aye" said the little man.

"Scare me half to death.,"
Very clever. I'll have to remember that one.

nijineko
05-02-2009, 12:40 PM
I wish the world would end.

speaking of which, wishes like any form of energy expenditure, likely follow the path of least resistance, unless acted upon by an exterior agency.

the easiest way for the world to end, would be to make the world you know change, thus end. thus you would be afflicted with extreme optimism, or the sunny rose colored glasses that you can never take off. or pessimism, depending on your natural bent.

i love pulling this one on people who wish for wealth, items, or magic. they suddenly realize the worth of what they already have-especially friendships, think that they own everything in the world, and realize the magic of a smile and or love. and so forth. ^^



let's try this:

i wish i knew what one simple thing that i could have wished for, including how to have successfully wished for it.

(if i didn't specify a single thing, i'm sure my head would explode with the excess knowledge of how to wish for every possible thing in existence. ^^)

BrotherDog
05-03-2009, 04:40 AM
Granted. You are now a cat.

I pass my wish to another. I have enough problems already.

gajenx
05-03-2009, 10:29 AM
i wish i knew what one simple thing that i could have wished for, including how to have successfully wished for it.

(if i didn't specify a single thing, i'm sure my head would explode with the excess knowledge of how to wish for every possible thing in existence. ^^)

Poof you have the knowledge of how to properly make the wish but loose the power to do it.

my wish:

I wish for for no magical wish affects.

tesral
05-04-2009, 07:25 AM
--------


You got it.

BrotherDog
05-05-2009, 03:17 AM
--------


You got it.

Toyota...

gajenx
05-07-2009, 08:51 PM
Granted but you have to do my paperwork for my caseload so I can teach

templeorder
05-08-2009, 04:18 PM
"I sure wish i got that promotion"
*poof* My long hair and earrings are gone, i'm wearing pants and a dress shirt with tie, and i'm talking about American Idol with the women in the office and sports with the men. But, no one can tell me apart from the rest of the plastic clones - Which one did they scrape the original material off of?
--- Merged from Double Post ---
ok, my last post, when read, sounded serious... please don't take it that way, i employed sarcasm but it came out wrong, made me sound like some walking, talking stereotype. Yipes! - I wish i had not said that. "Do you know what irony is, Baldric?" "Yes my lord, its like goldy and bronzey, but its made of iron." :redface:

BrotherDog
05-09-2009, 05:23 AM
"I sure wish i got that promotion"

*{[(*POOF!*)]}*

You are now holding an old peice of free KFC grilled chicken from last Monday's Promotional offer. It appears to have already gone bad, with blue fuzz. Congratulations!!! http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/BrotherDog/Gifs/azerlaugh1.gif


I wish I had a life.

gajenx
05-09-2009, 06:53 AM
congrats you are now pregnant.

I wish the school year is would now be over, since I did not get pick slipped.

Arch Lich Thoth-Amon
05-11-2009, 11:19 AM
Thoth's wish: As of right now, i wouldn't mind a vacation from life.
--- Merged from Double Post ---

congrats you are now pregnant.

I wish the school year is would now be over, since I did not get pick slipped.
You were caught plagiarizing, set up by your enemy, and have been kicked out of school.

Rook
05-21-2009, 11:50 PM
I wish every decision I would ever make would be the choice that is most beneficial to my physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

PhishStyx
05-21-2009, 11:53 PM
I wish every decision I would ever make would be the choice that is most beneficial to my physical, mental, and emotional well-being.


Excellent, your wish is granted by insidious Asimovian robots that you will in turn worship as gods forever.

Rook
05-21-2009, 11:54 PM
The most common mistake in wording wishes that I've found is neglecting to use the subjunctive, or conditional, tense. Eg.: I wish I was a millionaire instead of I wish I were a millionaire (I distinctly remember being a millionaire in the past but losing it all in dot-coms).
--- Merged from Double Post ---

Excellent, your wish is granted by insidious Asimovian robots that you will in turn worship as gods forever.

I'd question the benefits to my mental and emotional well-being in that scenario. Nice try though.

PhishStyx
05-22-2009, 12:08 AM
I'd question the benefits to my mental and emotional well-being in that scenario. Nice try though.

Then you need to read I, Robot, my friend.

Rook
05-22-2009, 09:42 AM
Read it, along with most of Asimov's other works, back in the early 80s. Still respectfully disagree with your position.

PhishStyx
05-22-2009, 12:19 PM
Read it, along with most of Asimov's other works, back in the early 80s. Still respectfully disagree with your position.

Which? My literary analysis of I, Robot or the notion that worshiping a predictive, omni-beneficent, omnipotent entity is most beneficial to your physical, mental, and emotional well-being?

BTW, I first read I, Robot for a science fiction literature class in 2005, but I read the Foundation books in '80s also.

Rook
05-22-2009, 05:16 PM
I didn't realize you provided a literary analysis of the book, and I do not believe that worshiping an Asimovian (sic), even as you characterize them, would be conducive to my overall well-being.

shilar
05-31-2009, 01:50 AM
one very early group I DMed turned in a typed(on typewriter[I feel old now]) 4 sheet(front and back) wish . I still subverted it for them.

I wish wish spells worked as intended not as worded.
By the way I always let non-outrageous wish spells cast by spell casters not from items work this way. They put a little of thier soul(experience points) into it it carries intent that way.

BrotherDog
05-31-2009, 04:24 AM
one very early group I DMed turned in a typed(on typewriter[I feel old now]) 4 sheet(front and back) wish . I still subverted it for them.

I wish wish spells worked as intended not as worded.
By the way I always let non-outrageous wish spells cast by spell casters not from items work this way. They put a little of thier soul(experience points) into it it carries intent that way.

...as a result of your wish, Efreeti can no longer grant wishes. And boy-o-boy, do they ever have a bone to pick with you for that.

PhishStyx
05-31-2009, 08:25 PM
I didn't realize you provided a literary analysis of the book, and I do not believe that worshiping an Asimovian (sic), even as you characterize them, would be conducive to my overall well-being.


Nontheless, your wish stands as granted.

spotlight
06-03-2009, 04:14 PM
I faced that problem at one time, some one writing out their wish. I stopped them and reminded them that they had to do it in blood, their own blood AND initial each clause ... thus letting them to bleed to death trying to complete it.

gajenx
06-03-2009, 07:43 PM
To me that even is jest is alittle too far. Though I am referring to both sides there, though that is my personal opinion only.